In many countries it is common for parents to give their children pocket money. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice?
Most of the
children
learn the
Correct article usage
apply
money
management from kinder garden
. In several nations, mostly the parents give the allowance to the young Correct your spelling
kindergarten
one
. In my opinion, the child
should know the value of currency from the beginning stage of growth.
There are many advantages for young one
. Correct pronoun usage
ones
Firstly
, some child
have habits to save Fix the agreement mistake
children
money
for future use. Saving money
is one
of the skills
to grow and that must be have
Unnecessary verb
apply
consistency
for Replace the word
consistent
long
term. Correct article usage
the long
Secondly
the Add a comma
Secondly,
children
utilize the amount to develop the skills
by enrolling the
course. It increases the IQ level and opportunities to learn more external Change preposition
on the
skills
for children
. For instances
, my friend applied Fix the agreement mistake
instance
Change preposition
for the
the
virtual course to study cloud technology Correct article usage
a
by
Change preposition
with
parent
Replace the word
parental
money
and he got the job using that skill.
One
of the disadvantages is sometimes the parents give the amount to young
Correct article usage
the young
one
without their knowledge and the child
go
for Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
wrong
path. Change the article
the wrong
Gradiences
should understand their Correct your spelling
Graduates
child
requirement and give the currency with Change noun form
child's
limited
amount. Correct article usage
a limited
Moreover
, the young child
does not have idea
to spend the Add an article
an idea
the idea
money
on
Change preposition
in
productive
way. Mostly They spend on unnecessary things Correct article usage
a productive
such
as toys, fast food and processed items. For example
, one
of my young brothers bought a packet money
daily from their parents. He Change preposition
of money
like
Replace the word
likes
the
street food so he eats Correct article usage
apply
in
Change preposition
on
daily
basis. Correct article usage
a daily
One
day her stomach got up set
doctor said that he Correct your spelling
upset
is
affected by food poison. After long days of Wrong verb form
was
treatment
only he gets recovered. Add a comma
treatment,
However
, he is in growing
stage but he should control the cravings.
In conclusion, the parent allowance Correct article usage
the growing
support
some Change the verb form
supports
children
to grow their knowledge by learning new skills
and some of them have save
the Wrong verb form
saved
money
in pots.Submitted by insighttribez on
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Structure
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, beginning each with a topic sentence followed by supporting sentences and examples.
Content Balance
In exploring advantages and disadvantages, ensure both are covered with equal depth and detail.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Review your work for small grammatical mistakes and consider refining your word choice to enhance clarity.
Task Response
Engage with the prompt directly by addressing both sides of the argument clearly in your introduction and conclusion.
Examples
Providing specific examples, like the story of your friend using pocket money to learn cloud technology, helps to strengthen your argument.
Insight into Topic
You've shown an understanding of the importance of managing money from a young age and linked this to real-life outcomes.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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