In many countries it is common for parents to give their children pocket money. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice?

Most of the
children
learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
management from
kinder garden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
show examples
. In several nations, mostly the parents give the allowance to the young
one
. In my opinion, the
child
should know the value of currency from the beginning stage of growth. There are many advantages for young
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Firstly
, some
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
have habits to save
money
for future use. Saving
money
is
one
of the
skills
to grow and that must be
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consistency
Replace the word
consistent
show examples
for
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
term.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
the
children
utilize the amount to develop the
skills
by enrolling
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
course. It increases the IQ level and opportunities to learn more external
skills
for
children
. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, my friend applied
Change preposition
for the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
virtual course to study cloud technology
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
parent
Replace the word
parental
show examples
money
and he got the job using that skill.
One
of the disadvantages is sometimes the parents give the amount to
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
one
without their knowledge and the
child
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
for
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
path.
Gradiences
Correct your spelling
Graduates
should understand their
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
requirement and give the currency with
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
amount.
Moreover
, the young
child
does not have
idea
Add an article
an idea
the idea
show examples
to spend the
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
productive
Correct article usage
a productive
show examples
way. Mostly They spend on unnecessary things
such
as toys, fast food and processed items.
For example
,
one
of my young brothers bought a packet
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
daily from their parents. He
like
Replace the word
likes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
street food so he eats
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis.
One
day her stomach got
up set
Correct your spelling
upset
show examples
doctor said that he
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
affected by food poison. After long days of
treatment
Add a comma
treatment,
show examples
only he gets recovered.
However
, he is in
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
stage but he should control the cravings. In conclusion, the parent allowance
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
some
children
to grow their knowledge by learning new
skills
and some of them have
save
Wrong verb form
saved
show examples
the
money
in pots.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Structure
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, beginning each with a topic sentence followed by supporting sentences and examples.
Content Balance
In exploring advantages and disadvantages, ensure both are covered with equal depth and detail.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Review your work for small grammatical mistakes and consider refining your word choice to enhance clarity.
Task Response
Engage with the prompt directly by addressing both sides of the argument clearly in your introduction and conclusion.
Examples
Providing specific examples, like the story of your friend using pocket money to learn cloud technology, helps to strengthen your argument.
Insight into Topic
You've shown an understanding of the importance of managing money from a young age and linked this to real-life outcomes.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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