The number of obese children is increasong. Some think that shcools should make sports compulsory. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #increasong #think #shcools #sports

It can be noted that the rate of

children

who are obese has increased over the years, and

therefore

, some are of the opinion that

schools

should make

sports

compulsory. In my opinion, I agree with

such

a view because it can help

children

change their lifestyle greatly.

Firstly

, when

schools

make

sports

compulsory, all the students will start having an active lifestyle. It can be noted that some students lack physical activity because they enjoy staying indoors, especially after

school

hours.

Moreover

, some of them are addicted to technological devices.

Due to

this

fact, they cannot burn their calories, and in the long run, they start gaining a lot of weight.

However

, when

schools

make

sports

compulsory, they do not have a choice about whether they like them or not.

This

will help them stay fit even if they are not interested in doing exercise after

school

hours.

Secondly

, some

children

do not have responsible parents.

In other words

, they do not pay attention to their diet, and they let their

children

consume whatever they want.

For example

, in America, the number of obese

children

keeps on increasing every year, mainly because of the consumption of fast food and processed food at home. In

this

case, if

schools

make

sports

compulsory,

this

situation can be overcome because they can burn calories and maintain their shape.

In addition

, when students are actively involved in

sports

school

, they will be interested in taking care of their health, and

this

as a result

, can undoubtedly give them awareness of the importance of a healthy diet and maintaining their weight.

To sum up

, I once again reaffirm my position that, in order to help

children

stay fit and healthy,

sports

should be made compulsory in every

school

. If all

schools

implemented

this

practice, the issue of obesity among

children

would drop significantly.

Submitted by s_syedy on Tue Apr 16 2024

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Example

Make sure to provide more varied examples to enrich your arguments even further. Including statistics, real-life examples, or citing studies could strengthen your position on compulsory sports in schools.

Coherence

Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and within them, ensuring a smoother reading experience.

Balance

Consider exploring the counterargument to provide a more balanced view. Acknowledging the opposing viewpoint and then refuting it can make your argument more persuasive.

Task Response

Your essay effectively addresses the topic, clearly stating your position and supporting it with logical reasons.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This organization significantly aids in the coherence and cohesion of your text.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The number of obese children is increasong. Some think that shcools should make sports compulsory. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Task 2 Some countries invest in specialized sport facilities for top athletes but not for the average person. Is this a positive or a negative development ?

As countries have developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society?

in recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

Some environmentalists have advocated building wildlife sanctuaries to protect endangered species. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of doing this.