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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assigments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#schools #tablets #laptop #computers #students #school #books #materials #exams #assigments #trend
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Throughout
world
Add an article
the world
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, more and more schools prefer tablets and laptop computers for their pupil rather than traditional learning materials.
Although
 printed study tools have helped us to possess knowledge for centuries, new tech equipment is more useful for today's
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
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 world. On the one hand, modern equipment
such
 as laptops and e-books enables students to access up-to-date information quickly.
Last
 decade almost all schools were provided with
fast pace
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
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 internet
this
 kind of development combined with the
last
 model tools had a huge positive impact on the student learning process.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 these types of devices are easy to carry everywhere and they need very small space.
For instance
,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 school
which
Correct word choice
where
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 I am currently working has new brand computers. Students use it for their study, exams and even deal with their
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
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.
On the other hand
,
such
 a tool can be harmful to
developing
Correct article usage
the developing
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 body of the child. Having seen
for
Change preposition
apply
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much more the light screen of e-devices like computers, laptops and phones can easily damage
eye
Correct article usage
the eye
show examples
sign
Fix the agreement mistake
signs
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 of the student.
For example
, a growing number of researches carried out by doctors claim that seeing impairment become more common in kids in the
last
 decade.
To conclude
,
although
 having
a new kinds
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new kind
new kinds
show examples
 of study equipment can boost the learning process, we have to admit that there are
also
 some drawbacks
such
 as health issues.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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clarity
Begin with a clearer thesis statement to immediately present your main arguments on advantages and disadvantages.
vocabulary
Work on the variety and accuracy of your vocabulary to avoid repetition and to enhance precision.
detail
Consider expanding on your examples for deeper analysis and impact. Though you mention research and personal experiences, further detail could strengthen your arguments.
grammar/spelling
Watch out for small grammar and spelling mistakes which can detract from the overall professionalism. Instances like 'school which I am currently working has' should be 'school where I am currently working has' or 'school at which I am currently working has'
task response
The essay clearly identifies advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
structure
Logical structure guides the reader through your arguments effectively.
content
You make good use of examples, such as the impact on health from screen exposure, to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interactive learning
  • Multimedia resources
  • Digital literacy
  • Personalized education
  • Environmentally friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Resource accessibility
  • 21st-century skills
  • Digital divide
  • Educational inequalities
  • Non-educational content
  • Prolonged use
  • Eye strain
  • Ergonomic issues
  • Initial investment
  • Maintenance costs
  • Technological dependence
  • Traditional studying skills
  • Handwriting
  • Mental arithmetic
  • Engagement in learning
  • Skill development
  • Academic journals
  • Educational videos
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