The pie charts compare how much the proportions of three fast-food outlets are favoured by teenagers in Vietnam and Indonesia in 2017 with projections for 2027.

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The provided pie charts presented the popularity of three fast-food brands among young people in Vietnam and Indonesia during 2017 with 10 years afterwards forecasted figures. Three stores comprise

McDonald’s

Use synonyms

KFC

Use synonyms

and

Burger

Use synonyms

King. In Vietnam, the percentage of all companies slightly changed from time to time.

McDonald’s

Use synonyms

remained the first place followed by

Burger

Use synonyms

King and

KFC

Use synonyms

respectively. We can see a downward trend in

Burger

Use synonyms

King. The percentage decreased from 52.8% to 39%. Meanwhile,

McDonald’s

Use synonyms

marks significantly rose from 43.1% to 57.4%.

KFC

Use synonyms

’s figure remained constant. In Indonesia,

KFC

Use synonyms

is more popular than

Burger

Use synonyms

King.

McDonald’s

Use synonyms

still be the most loved restaurant by kids,

however

Linking Words

, its score is expected to decrease to 48.5%.

This

Linking Words

is contradicted with

KFC

Use synonyms

which tends to have better sales among teenagers.

To conclude

Linking Words

McDonald’s

Use synonyms

is the all-time favourite place to go in both regions.

While

Linking Words

the other two brands share the remaining market value.

Submitted by Punpun on Tue Apr 23 2024

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words mcdonald’s, kfc, burger with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

151 words

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The pie charts compare how much the proportions of three fast-food outlets are favoured by teenagers in Vietnam and Indonesia in 2017 with projections for 2027.

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

University students often focus on one subjects . However , some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with his opinion?

Despite abundant ways of entertainment nowadays, why according to your opinion the circus is still very popular? Discuss