IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the tables below give information about sales of fairtrade-iabelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five european countries

the tables below give information about sales of fairtrade-iabelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five european countries
#tables #information #sales #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two tables provide information about
sales
Use synonyms
 data for
Faitrade
Correct your spelling
Fairtrade
coffee
Use synonyms
 and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in
five
Use synonyms
 nations. The first chart shows the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumed
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
five
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
, albeit to widely varying degrees.
Sales
Use synonyms
 in Denmark and Sweden both increased by the same small
amount
Use synonyms
: 0.2
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
. The increment was
lightly
Replace the word
slightly
show examples
 larger in Belgium, with the
amount
Use synonyms
 of 0.7
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
 in Switzerland rose from 3 to 6
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
. The biggest
coffee
Use synonyms
 seller among these
five
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 is the UK, which saw a marked increase to around 19
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
. In the second table, it is Switzerland which stands out as buying far more Fairtrade bananas than the other four
countries
Use synonyms
. The rising trend was
also
Linking Words
 seen in Swiss, where the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
sales
Use synonyms
 jumped from 15 to 47
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
sales
Use synonyms
 data for the UK and Belgium grew slightly to 4.5 and 3.4
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 respectively. Only Sweden and Denmark saw a decrease
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 1
million
Use synonyms
 in banana
sales
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that in 1999 Fairtrade
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 ranged from 0.8 to 3
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 in these
five
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 banana
sales
Use synonyms
 in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 clustered between 0.6 and 2
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
, with Switzerland creating far more
sales
Use synonyms
 than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four
countries
Use synonyms
 combined. By 2004,
sales
Use synonyms
 figures for both products had risen across the board, except for Sweden and
Demark
Correct your spelling
Denmark
show examples
 which recorded drops in banana
sales
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by cathyielts22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, five, amount, countries, million, euros with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade sales
  • significant growth
  • trends and patterns
  • market expansion
  • sustainable consumption
  • ethical products
  • consumer awareness
  • economic impact
  • percentage increase
  • market share
  • profit margins
  • trade initiatives
  • consumer behavior
  • retail figures
  • economic indicators
What to do next:
Look at other essays: