Old people suffer from loneliness and health related problem. What are the causes behind this.

There is an ongoing discussion about why seniors struggle with loneliness and health problems.

This

essay will describe the actual causes and solutions. The anatomical structure of human beings has an ageing factor which appears in the physical condition of the body. Ageing mutates the real construction of skeleton and muscles,

as well as

, skin and internal organs.

This

is because , health issues become critical , because of unhealthy lifestyles and genetic factors in elderly people.

On the other hand

, loneliness prevents serotonin production leading to depression and anxiety. The fear of being replaced in society creates an unhappy older generation leads seniors to get into depression and makes them feel lonely. In order to solve existing matters there is an excellent technique used in China, which is called"Tha I Chi". Using simple body movements in sync one can reach a flexible body.

This

exercise uses specific folklore music.

Thus

, it is crucial that all training should be held in nature or outdoors. One of the benefits of

this

technique is that the practice of certain moves is repeated regularly.

Furthermore

, group interaction motivates the mindset to complete actions without giving up.

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

it’s recommended by world-class professors that old people should take care of their diet and maintain a balance of nutrition. In conclusion, feeling lonely and struggling with health matters can be common for people that old. To prevent ageing creating a peaceful and interactive environment is a must. All the things would be more efficient with the help of a professional schedule of dieting.

Submitted by musayevjahangir on Wed Apr 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to maintain clarity and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs, thereby enhancing the readability of your essay.

task achievement

To further improve task achievement, incorporate more detailed and specific examples to support each point. This helps in elaborating on the causes and solutions provided.

task achievement

Keep working on developing a clear and direct answer to the essay question in the introduction and a summary of your points in the conclusion for stronger task achievement.

structural organization

Your essay presents a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

You have successfully identified both causes and solutions related to the issue of elderly loneliness and health problems, effectively addressing the task requirements.

language use

The essay effectively uses complex sentences and demonstrates a decent range of vocabulary related to the topic, contributing positively to task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Old people suffer from loneliness and health related problem. What are the causes behind this.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lesson pressure on worlds fuel resources To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

nuclear power is far too dangerous; therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individual can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

Some people think that living in a country is an interesting experience while some think that living where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: •give details about the concert •describe how you won the tickets •explain why youʼve chosen your friend to go with you.