Money ought to be spent on new public buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
day and age,
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
the speedy urbanization in the world, more and more public
bulidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
are needed to
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
citizens' requirements. Some
people
believe that the majority of money should
be invest
Change the verb form
be invested
be investing
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
constructing new
buildings
such
as museums or town halls.
However
, I am against their view. I believe it is more beneficial to renovate the existing public halls.
Firstly
, making
use
of existing
buildings
enables
people
to achieve the goal of recycling. Nowadays, with the increasing pollution and growing
use
of natural resources,
eco-friendly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendliness
show examples
has become an essential target in the world. Renovating old
buildings
means that
people
can reuse the materials and adopt the old
fundations
Correct your spelling
foundations
.
As a result
, not only natural resources like wood and steel are saved, but
also
human
labors
Fix the agreement mistake
labor
show examples
and energy can be decreased by
use
Change the form of the verb
using
show examples
the old
buildings
.
Betterstill
Correct your spelling
Better still
, if
people
consider
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
the old halls rather than building new ones, there will be less pollution and
further
conserve
earth's
Correct article usage
the earth's
show examples
ecosystem. Undeniably,
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
bulidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
are
regared
Correct your spelling
regarded
as representations of these days' fashion
while
some existing
buildings
are considered as out of style. Many
people
argue that old
buildings
are not eye-catching and they are not
consist
Replace the word
consistent
show examples
with today's beauty values.
However
, old
buildings
, which are physical historical heritages, are indispensable in human history. Provided that all old
buildings
no longer existed, our generations would not have any chance to
withness
Correct your spelling
witness
show examples
life in the past and experience traditional
athestic
Correct your spelling
aesthetic
atheistic
, let alone
further
adopt ancient wisdom and develop new arts. Having considered all the
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
above, I believe the merits of renovating old
buildings
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the drawbacks. Environments can be protected
along with
the conservation of historical heritages by reconstructing existing
buildings
. For governments and companies, they are well-advised to invest more money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the renovation of old public
buildings
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Spelling
Ensure accurate spelling of key terms throughout your essay to maintain professionalism and clarity.
Sentence Structure
To improve coherence, consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability.
Examples
Integrate more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument and make your points more convincing.
Position
Your essay presents a clear position throughout, effectively addressing the prompt.
Structure
You have a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Support
Your arguments are supported by relevant, albeit general, examples which helps to explain your viewpoint.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • symbolizes
  • evolving
  • aspirations
  • incorporate
  • accessibility
  • catalyst
  • economic development
  • heritage
  • conserves
  • cultural
  • integrity
  • operational inefficiencies
  • sustainably
  • repurpose
  • throwaway culture
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental degradation
  • context-specific
What to do next:
Look at other essays: