Some people think that modern games can help children develop a wide range of skills, but others argue that traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #games #children #range #skills

Part of society believes that modern

games

can give rise to the

development

of a vast number of

skills

while

others argue that traditional

games

do better in that aspect. In my conviction, these new

games

only develop

computer

skills

while

jeopardising the health of the individual

whereas

the old-time physical

games

, improve mental and physical

skills

a lot.

Hence

this

writer wholeheartedly agrees with the notion traditional

games

improve

skills

better than modernized

games

. First and foremost, most of the newly innervated leisure activities are harming the young generation more than their skill

development

.These

games

are either involved with a

computer

or a screen, leaving the child without major physical activity ,to glance at a screen all the time,

moreover

, they are highly addictive in nature,

thus

compromising other works of the children

while

harming the eyesight and, prone them into a higher risk of non-communicable diseases.

For example

according to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

recent research done by Oxford University ,nearly 35% of students under 15 years of age were addicted to

computer

games

in London , and 90% of them are obese with a higher risk for

non-cummunicable

Correct your spelling

non-communicable

diseases in their adult life.

Although

people have argued that these

games

improve

computer

skills

, they do harm more than that.

Furthermore

, ground and field

games

as in the old times, involve

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

mind and body

come

Correct word choice

and come

show examples

with a whole package of

skills

; digging pathways to career opportunities . When somebody plays a game like football, they have to use their mind to have a better outcome other than their physical work;

skills

like communication, leadership and team management will built in them involuntarily.

For instance

, companies like Google , Facebook and Amazon check for the sports activities of their applicants when they select new recruits for them.

Thus

, sports of old times still do better to the children in skill

development

and helping to their careers. In conclusion, the modern

computer

and video

games

compromise the younger generation in many ways

while

old-timet

Correct your spelling

old-time

old-times

sports activities build important

skills

for them which serve them better in their later career life.

Thus

this

writer has

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the firm notion that traditional

games

are much better for

development

Correct article usage

the development

show examples

skills

in children

Submitted by dinaka0001 on Wed Apr 24 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Try to ensure a smoother flow between ideas and paragraphs with more varied transitional phrases. This will enhance the connectivity and make the argument even more cohesive.

Task Achievement

While your essay presents a clear position and reasoned argument, incorporating a wider scope of examples and evidence could further strengthen your task achievement score. Consider exploring how modern games could also foster specific skills beneficial in certain contexts.

Introduction & Conclusion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that outline your position effectively, demonstrating good structure.

Supported Main Points

Your arguments are supported with specific examples like the study from Oxford University, which solidifies your main points and provides a strong basis for your opinion.

Complete Response

Your essay addresses the topic comprehensively, reflecting a good understanding and clear response to the task.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

369 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that modern games can help children develop a wide range of skills, but others argue that traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Government should concentrate their resources on educating people about the risk they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives.

It is often argued that children must be protected from unsuitable material on TV and the Internet by government censorship. Others say that this is the parents' responsibility to control what their children do and watch. To what extent do you think that this is true?

Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Even though globalization has some very positive effects, we can't forget its negative effects. What are the disadvantages and advantages of globalization?

The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support you position.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+