IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Crime is a big problem in the world: many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Crime
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 is undoubtedly a significant global issue. It is prompting debates about
its
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the
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 efficacy of
prevention
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measures
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. Some argue that
crime
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prevention
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 is a daunting task with limited success,
whereas
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 some believe that proactive strategies can curb criminal
activities
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 effectively. In
this
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 essay, I will delve into both perspectives and provide my point of view on the matter. On one hand, there is a prevalent belief that
crime
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prevention
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 faces substantial challenges and may not yield a substantial result. The proponents of
this
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 point of view are various factors contributing to the complexity of addressing
crime
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, including socioeconomic disparities, cultural influences, psychological factors, and systemic issues within the criminal justice system.
For example
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, studies have shown a correlation between
poverty
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 and certain types of crimes. Individuals from disadvantaged socioeconomic backgrounds often face limited access to
education
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, job opportunities, and social support systems that lead to feelings of frustration and hopelessness. In areas with high
poverty
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 rates, there may be higher incidences of theft, burglary, and drug trafficking as individuals seek ways to
address
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 financial hardships or cope with economic deprivation. They argue that despite efforts to implement
prevention
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measures
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such
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 as law enforcement and
community
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 programs,
crime
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 rates remain persistent. It shows the inherent difficulty in eradicating criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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 entirely.
On the other hand
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, advocates for
crime
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prevention
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 assert that proactive
measures
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 can make a substantial difference in reducing
crime
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 rates and promoting social safety. They emphasize approaches that encompass not only law enforcement but
also
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address
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 root causes of
crime
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such
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 as
poverty
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, inequality, lack of
education
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, and mental health issues.
For instance
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, the implementation of
community
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-based programs aimed at youth development and empowerment
that
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apply
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located
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are located
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 in an economically disadvantaged
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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.
This
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center
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centre
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 provides a range of services and
activities
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 designed to
address
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 various root causes of
crime
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 among young people, including
poverty
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, lack of
education
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, substance abuse, and mental health issues by offering many programs
such
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 as tutoring, mentoring, educational workshops, mental health screenings,
counseling
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counselling
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 sessions, and
community
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 events. By inventing
education
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, social welfare, and
community
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 engagement, society can create environments that deter criminal
activities
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 and support positive
behavior
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behaviour
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. In conclusion,
although
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crime
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activities
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 remain a persistent global challenge, I do not lean towards the belief that nothing can be done to prevent it.
While
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crime
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prevention
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 requires concerted and multifaceted efforts, proactive strategies that
address
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 root causes, promote
community
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 engagement, and prioritize social welfare can contribute significantly to reducing
crime
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 rate and fostering safer societies. A comprehensive approach that combines
prevention
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, intervention, and rehabilitation
measures
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 is the primary key to tackling the complexity of
crime
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prevention
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 effectively.

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Task Achievement
Consider integrating more specific, real-world examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Further improve coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Try to expand on the counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.
General
Review and correct minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've done a great job providing a clear introduction and conclusion that directly address the essay prompt.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively outlines both perspectives on the issue, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
The use of hypothetical examples adds depth to your arguments, although integrating more real-world instances could further strengthen your position.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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