Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
With the advancement of technology, young adults
use
digital devices like smartphones
daily. In this
essay
I will explain why they Add a comma
essay,
use
smartphones
daily and what are impacts of this
phenomenon.
Add a missing verb
are.
To begin
with, there are two main reasons why children
use
smartphone
per day. Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
Firstly
, smartphones
provide a wide range of programs and applications, which are appealing to young adults; for example
, not only can children
watch their favorite
animations for free, but they Change the spelling
favourite
also
play online video games like GTA. Secondly
, in the modern world, children
rely on smartphone
as a tool for getting educational information. When Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
children
need data for school project
, homework, and general learning, they turn to GOOGLE; Fix the agreement mistake
projects
therefore
, it is important for them to use
the smartphone
every day for educational purposes.
Although
,
the usage of Remove the comma
apply
smartphones
can be beneficial, the negative aspects of this
development outweigh its positive ones. In fact, extensive usage of smartphones
leads to loosing
Replace the word
losing
eye sight
. Blue light which is emitted from Correct your spelling
eyesight
smartphones
is very harmful for
Change the preposition
to
eyes
, so the extensive usage of Correct article usage
the eyes
smartphone
hurts Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
children
’s eyes. Mentally, children
who are addicted to spending too much tome
on Correct your spelling
time
the
Correct article usage
apply
smartphones
are more likely to experience isolation. Children
who use
smartphone
daily do not tend to communicate with family members and friends, leading to a sense of loneliness.
In conclusion, I take the view that Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
children
as hobby
and learning Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
use
smartphone
. sitting in front of the screens too much time has negative impacts on Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
children
mentally and physically. The less the
Correct your spelling
they
use
their smartphone
, the more benefits they will gain.Submitted by TUTOO on
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Example Specificity
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Sentence Complexity
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Proofreading
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Structure
You've done a good job outlining the main reasons why children use smartphones and the potential negative impacts, showing a well-considered structure.
Balance
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion neatly frame the essay, providing a clear opening and a definitive stance in the conclusion.