IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You live on the fourth floor of a five-storey building which is not equipped with an elevator (lift). Write a letter to your neighbors and in your letter • introduce yourself • say what the problem is • ask the neighbors to agree on the installation of an elevator.‌‌

#floor #five-storey #elevator #neighbors #installation
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Dear
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
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, I am going to introduce myself to you . I am your
neighbor
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neighbour
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. I have been living here for years. I am very busy
for
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with
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 daily
works
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work
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 so we do not meet with you frequently. My
work
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demand
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demands
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 me
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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 faster in the morning . So I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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need
to
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apply
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an
elevator
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 because I
have
Verb problem
am
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 late for
work
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 every day . I am writing to tell you about installing an
elevator
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to
Change preposition
apply
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here . It will be very comfortable for everybody . Because everybody has
work
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 . Nobody is late for
work
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 .
For example
Linking Words
 , an
elevator
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need
Wrong verb form
is needed
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to
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for
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 old people and amputees. Well , installing an
elevator
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 is very useful
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for
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our health , our goods and our children . Come on , our everybody will combine . One day we will arrange the meeting . And
this
Linking Words
 time we will talk
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about
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everything here . I hope you will support my point . I try with pleasure to
installing
Change the form of the verb
install
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. Sincerely yours , Jumayeva Ruxshona.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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task response
Introduce more concrete details and specific reasons to strengthen your argument for installing an elevator.
task response
Include examples or personal experiences to make your letter more engaging and persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly and logically. Use paragraphs to separate different ideas or points.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and sentences.
task response
You made a clear request and outlined the general problem effectively.
writing tone
Your friendly and direct tone is suitable for a letter to neighbors, which helps in making your point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Introduce, rapport, difficulties, transport, groceries, furniture, accessibility, elderly, disabilities, benefits, installation, accessibility, property value, organizing, logistics, community, quality of life, support, impact, contribute, gauge interest
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