Many people believe that music is just a form of entertaintment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (250 words)

#people #music #form #entertaintment #whilst #impact #society

Whether musical tracks have profound effects on humans of

this

generation or not is a vital subject of public debate.

Although

different

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

music

used to be a part of recreational activities, I will argue that the art of performing instrumental devices is not just

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

intertaining

Correct your spelling

entertaining

content. There is a widely held view among people

spesifically

Correct your spelling

specifically

elderlies that

musican's

Change noun form

musican

show examples

artwork plays a role as an

inseprable

Correct your spelling

inseparable

part of each party on account of the fact that listening to

music

is a form of

intertainment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

. To clarify, they believe it only way of its usage with no other advantage. Raising people's

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

, smartphons

provids

Correct your spelling

provides

provide

a massive source of knowledge for

mankinds

Correct your spelling

mankind

which includes the importance of

music

and

moreover

a great playlist

consisted

Wrong verb form

consisting

show examples

of various types.

For instance

, there were

classial

Correct your spelling

classical

classic

ones

as well as

pop and jass, to name but a few.

Therefore

, it has been combined with human lifestyle and each part and

parcle

Correct your spelling

parcel

of our life have been

depent

Correct your spelling

spent

dependent

on it. The significant usage of

music

on the other hand

, occupied our daily routines. Not only do we play it whenever we want to do some particular activity, but

also

music

-related jobs are reported to grow in popularity these days owing to society's demands. The career in

this

industry develops a substantial population who invested their lives and creativity to form and revise

this

section of art. Making money,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has become by far one of the most well-known and serious

feild

Correct your spelling

fields

of job.

Hence

, the fame of

music

tracks has been gone

beyound

Correct your spelling

beyond

leisure activities and has had more

potentail

Correct your spelling

potential

. In conclusion, I argued about the importance of

music

and its potential

roats

Correct your spelling

role

in each

person

Change noun form

person's

show examples

life

despit

Correct your spelling

despite

some disagreements about the assertive idea of soundtracks being just an amusement.

Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on Wed Apr 24 2024

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Sentence Structure

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Grammar & Spelling

Ensure your essay is free from spelling and grammar errors. Consider revising phrases and words that might be spelled incorrectly or used inappropriately to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Paragraphing

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Supporting Examples

Provide specific examples to support your points. This adds credibility and depth to your argument, making your essay more convincing and engaging for the reader.

Topic Understanding

You effectively discussed both views on music's role in society, showing a good understanding of the essay topic.

Conclusion Clarity

Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, demonstrating a clear stance on the issue.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that music is just a form of entertaintment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (250 words)

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are marries or single. some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.