It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

There is a statement that taking a
risk
is significant in
human’s
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human
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life.
In particular
in their professional
lives
and
also
their personal
lives
. I want to explain why the
risk
is needed action and why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that advantages are more than disadvantages.
According to
the statement, the advantages are that people’s professional and personal
lives
depend on the risks.It’s definitely influencing how people are becoming successful and fearless thanks for the opportunity that gives
risk
.When you step out of your comfort zone you realize your possibilities and mistakes.
Due to
risk
you will face your fear and work on yourself to overcome it. The disadvantages are unserious and
simply
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simple
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.There
is
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are
show examples
just two arguments
to prefer
Verb problem
apply
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that taking a
risk
is unimportant.First is
fear
Correct article usage
the fear
show examples
of changing routine and
lost
Wrong verb form
losing
show examples
your zone of comfort.Second is people’s own decision to stay in
one
stable position without taking risks.
For instance
, there is a bunch of ambitious individuals who are not afraid of
risk
and losing something.In any
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
you’re not in
one
place and making decisions to improve your professional and personal
lives
.
One
of the same
person
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people
show examples
is-Elon
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is Elon
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Musk.He
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
came from
simple
Add an article
a simple
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family without
nothing
Correct pronoun usage
anything
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and
become
Wrong verb form
became
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one
of the
intelligent
Correct quantifier usage
most intelligent
show examples
and richest people thanks
for
Change preposition
to
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taking a
risk
and who
is realised
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has realised
show examples
his ideas without any hesitation. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
the fact that people have to be
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
to move on to another level of life. I consider that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
certainly over than disadvantages.
Submitted by kooper507 on

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Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. This will establish a strong foundation for your essay.
Language Use
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.
Paragraph Use
Use paragraphs to group related ideas together. This helps to maintain a logical flow and makes your argument easier to follow.
Argument Development
Try to develop your ideas thoroughly. While mentioning examples like Elon Musk is effective, explaining how these examples support your argument strengthens your essay.
Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar. While small errors are understandable, ensuring your writing is as error-free as possible will increase clarity.
Position
You've made a clear stance that you believe the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, which is crucial for the task.
Examples
The use of real-life examples, like Elon Musk, to support your argument, makes your essay more persuasive and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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