It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
There is a statement that taking a
risk
is significant in human’s
life.Change noun form
human
In particular
in their professional lives
and also
their personal lives
.
I want to explain why the risk
is needed action and why i
think that advantages are more than disadvantages.
Change the capitalization
I
According to
the statement, the advantages are that people’s professional and personal lives
depend on the risks.It’s definitely influencing how people are becoming successful and fearless thanks for the opportunity that gives risk
.When you step out of your comfort zone you realize your possibilities and mistakes.Due to
risk
you will face your fear and work on yourself to overcome it.
The disadvantages are unserious and simply
.There Change the word
simple
is
just two arguments Change the verb form
are
to prefer
that taking a Verb problem
apply
risk
is unimportant.First is fear
of changing routine and Correct article usage
the fear
lost
your zone of comfort.Second is people’s own decision to stay in Wrong verb form
losing
one
stable position without taking risks.
For instance
, there is a bunch of ambitious individuals who are not afraid of risk
and losing something.In any way
you’re not in Add a comma
way,
one
place and making decisions to improve your professional and personal lives
.One
of the same person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
is-Elon
Musk.He Correct your spelling
is Elon
is
came from Unnecessary verb
apply
simple
family without Add an article
a simple
nothing
and Correct pronoun usage
anything
become
Wrong verb form
became
one
of the intelligent
and richest people thanks Correct quantifier usage
most intelligent
for
taking a Change preposition
to
risk
and who is realised
his ideas without any hesitation.
In Change the verb form
has realised
conclusion
the fact that people have to be Add a comma
conclusion,
risk taking
to move on to another level of life.
I consider that Add a hyphen
risk-taking
advantages
of taking Correct article usage
the advantages
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
is
certainly over than disadvantages.Change the verb form
are
Submitted by kooper507 on
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Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. This will establish a strong foundation for your essay.
Language Use
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.
Paragraph Use
Use paragraphs to group related ideas together. This helps to maintain a logical flow and makes your argument easier to follow.
Argument Development
Try to develop your ideas thoroughly. While mentioning examples like Elon Musk is effective, explaining how these examples support your argument strengthens your essay.
Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar. While small errors are understandable, ensuring your writing is as error-free as possible will increase clarity.
Position
You've made a clear stance that you believe the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, which is crucial for the task.
Examples
The use of real-life examples, like Elon Musk, to support your argument, makes your essay more persuasive and engaging.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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