IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The changing rates of crime in the inner city from 2003-2012

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The line graph compares replacement criminality which happened in the various regions of New Port city
center
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centre
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 between 2003 and 2012.
Overall
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, it can be seen that burglary experienced
sharp
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a sharp
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 decrease,
while
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 car shifting experienced different trends in the time period. And theft from the person remained unchanged.
To begin
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 with burglaries, in 2003 there were about 4,000 and
then
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 the
number
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 dropped significantly to 2500 in 2006 but the price continued to fall and reached 1,200 in 2008 and
then
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 from 2009 to 2012 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of robberies increased slightly and stayed stable at 1500. The
number
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 of car thefts from 2003 to 2005 was approximately 2800.
Then
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 in 2006 it
has
Wrong verb form
had
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gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
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 drop to 2000 and remained unchanged until 2008. After 2009 there was a gradual increase and in 2012 it returned to the initial level. Robberies around the people had a fluctuation range from 500 to 1000. In 2003 there were about 600 and the quantity gradually increased to 900 by 2005.
Then
Linking Words
 from 2006 to 2010 the
number
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 dropped to 500 and
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
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 to 800 and in subsequent years the
number
Use synonyms
 hovered around 700.

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Clarity
Be mindful to clearly distinguish between the types of crime throughout your essay to avoid confusion (e.g., using 'car theft' consistently instead of switching to 'car shifting').
Introduction/Conclusion Enhancement
Introduce and conclude your essay more clearly. A concise introduction and conclusion help frame your analysis and summarize key findings.
Accuracy in Terminology
Work on maintaining a consistent and accurate use of terminology related to the topic. This will enhance understanding and avoid ambiguity.
Flow and Connectivity
Utilize transitions and connectors more effectively to improve the flow between sections and points for better coherence.
Structure
Your overall structure allows for an easy follow-through of the trends over the years, facilitating understanding.
Use of Specific Examples
You have effectively provided specific examples with numbers to support your analysis, making your argument stronger.
Effective Overview
The overview paragraph succinctly presents the main trends, preparing the reader for the detailed analysis that follows.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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