People who go live in other countries should follow their customs and traditions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's contemporary era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
who
people
Use synonyms
migrate to foreign countries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
must follow that country's
customs
Use synonyms
and
traditions
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with the
metioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
statement. In continue,
this
Linking Words
essay intends to explain why those
people
Use synonyms
should pursue the
custums
Correct your spelling
customs
and
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
of the country where they live
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
Among a short conclusion. Following the
culture
Use synonyms
of a country will be
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the satisfacation
show examples
satisfacation
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
of that area's
people
Use synonyms
that, will make friendship and relationship between Immigrants and host.
As a result
Linking Words
, both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
[Refugees and host] will experience an intimate life.
In addition
Linking Words
,
experienceing diffirent
Correct your spelling
experiencing different
cultures will teach us many new
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
that we have not
try it
Wrong verb form
tried
show examples
yet. Sometimes, going against
Use synonyms
customs
Correct article usage
the customs
show examples
and
traditions
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somewhere will bring great conflicts
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are biased against their
traditions
Use synonyms
and
customs
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we should respect
everwhere's
Correct your spelling
everywhere's
show examples
traditions
Use synonyms
but, disobeying their
culture
Use synonyms
will lead the person even toward death. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
statement, in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Islamic countries Hijab is a
culture
Use synonyms
and obligation and everybody that goes to those countries has to wear
Hijab
Correct article usage
a Hijab
show examples
to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
problems from happening and
having
Wrong verb form
to have
show examples
a good experience.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is better to live
according to
Linking Words
our current area's rules,
traditions
Use synonyms
,
customs
Use synonyms
and
culture
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
show examples
points in
this
Linking Words
essay for having a good and
freindly
Correct your spelling
friendly
society.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Consider revising for grammatical accuracy and consistency to clarify your points.
Vocabulary
Use varied and precise vocabulary to strengthen your argument.
Argument Development
Develop your arguments with more detailed and specific examples to enhance task achievement.
Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea, to improve coherence.
Accuracy
Check for typographical and spelling errors before finalizing the essay.
Position clarity
You have articulated a clear position throughout.
Effective conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and rationale.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: