Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, gorvernment should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many citizens think to avoid illness and disease, authorities
need
prepare Add the particle
need to
on
decrease pollutant environment and Change preposition
to
problems
of housing. It is the opinion of this
writer that decrease
pollution will help people less explore Wrong verb form
decreased
the
dangerous Correct article usage
apply
virus
and improve the quality of Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
human
in the future.
It is vital to understand that Fix the agreement mistake
humans
government
can do more activities to make individuals Correct article usage
the government
can
work Verb problem
apply
nature
world in their countries. Replace the word
natural
Due to
the fact that,
the green Remove the comma
apply
houses
gases Fix the agreement mistake
house
is
increasing Correct subject-verb agreement
are
of
almost Change preposition
in
cities
Correct determiner usage
all cities
in
the earth, they will have to do some Change preposition
on
advert
to citizens to prevent generation from the result of environmental pollution and overpopulation.
Another key component of the case for housing Correct your spelling
advertising
problems
is the effects of illness and disease, their
are not enough facilities Replace the word
there
such
as hospital
or places for people to solve their Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
problems
about health. It should be self-evident that more and more citizens in the world so the land for individuals to live and work is more and more limit
. In Replace the word
limited
this
situation, government
need to create more places Add an article
the government
communities
for poor people or donate more land for Correct word choice
and communities
hospital
or research Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
institute
to solve the Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
problems
about environment
.It must Add an article
the environment
also
be noted that in US
, authorities are making more Correct article usage
the US
their
companies about health and Correct pronoun usage
apply
environment
to Correct article usage
the environment
process
rubbish.
Taking everything into account, it can be seen that the issue of pollution environmentally and Wrong verb form
processing
problems
of housing need to be solve
as fast as Change the verb form
be solved
government
can. Correct article usage
the government
Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that do
population planning and Unnecessary verb
apply
have
Wrong verb form
having
a
awareness of Change the article
an
seriousness
Add an article
the seriousness
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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences that directly relate to it. This will make your arguments stronger and more cohesive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will help your essay flow more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Make sure you fully address the question by discussing both sides if applicable or by providing a clear position if you're asked to what extent you agree or disagree.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Actual data, studies, or hypothetical scenarios relevant to the topic can enhance your essay significantly.
Language Use
You've shown an ability to form complex sentences to express ideas, which is a good skill to have for writing.
Topic Understanding
Your essay reflects a strong commitment to addressing environmental issues and the importance of government action, showing your understanding of the topic's significance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.