SOME PEOPLE SAY IN ORDER TO PREVENT ILLNESS AND DISEASE, GOVERNMENT SHOULD FOCUS ON REDUCING ENVIRONMENTAL POLLUTION AND HOUSING PROBLEMS. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE
Many
inviduals
consider that sickness or Correct your spelling
individuals
the
disease should be prevented by Correct article usage
apply
pay
attention Change the verb form
paying
on minimize
Change preposition
to minimizing
the
environmental pollution and housing issues. In my view, I strongly with the idea of the statement Correct article usage
apply
has
been mentioned.
Correct pronoun usage
that has
Firstly
, I believe that one of the reasons cause
the effect on Change preposition
for
human’s
health is the trash from the environment or many kinds of rubbish Change noun form
human
is
thrown by households Unnecessary verb
apply
are
the causing of the bad feelings on Correct subject-verb agreement
is
humanities
. Environmental pollution Fix the agreement mistake
humanity
such
as the
pesticide, nylon or many chemicals from Correct article usage
apply
the
drugs Correct article usage
apply
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
the
Correct article usage
apply
dangerously
effect on the age of Change the adverb
dangerous
biology
objects, Replace the word
biological
destroy
the immune system of people and Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
also
directly impact
on many parts like Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
lungs
, mouths, Correct article usage
the lungs
hearts
. In order to get a better improvement, Correct word choice
and hearts
state
should suggest Add an article
the state
to advise
the residents must minimize the amount of rubbish Change the verb form
advising
the
waste over a month or encourage the farmers Correct your spelling
they
using
Change the verb form
to use
the
organic Correct article usage
apply
pesticide
Fix the agreement mistake
pesticides
instead
of the
ordinary Correct article usage
apply
one
.
Correct pronoun usage
ones
However
, it is sometimes difficult for general
public to control the amount Add an article
the general
trash
because of the increasing population. It Change preposition
of trash
is
must be investigated and Unnecessary verb
apply
keep it
in demanding trend in case to help the environment become better or Wrong verb form
kept
also
the human’s
health
In conclusion, it Change noun form
human
is
must Unnecessary verb
apply
be consider
that the bad Change the verb form
be considered
of
Change preposition
for
human
is being Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Correct your spelling
threatened
threatended
by environmental pollutants and Correct your spelling
threatened
the
housing problemsCorrect article usage
apply
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Structure
Work on structuring your essay more logically with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by examples.
Balance
It's important to address both sides of the argument thoroughly. While you've presented your view, consider discussing the counter-argument with more depth to strengthen your overall argument.
Vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Avoid repetition of words and phrases to make your essay more engaging.
Grammar
Improve the accuracy of your sentence structures, grammar, and punctuation. This will help make your argument clearer and more professional.
Content
You have successfully conveyed your agreement with the statement and provided reasons for your viewpoint.
Introduction
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion on environmental pollution and housing issues, which is a good strategy for engaging the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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