SOME PEOPLE SAY IN ORDER TO PREVENT ILLNESS AND DISEASE, GOVERNMENT SHOULD FOCUS ON REDUCING ENVIRONMENTAL POLLUTION AND HOUSING PROBLEMS. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

#people #illness #disease #government #focus #pollution

Many

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

consider that sickness or

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

disease should be prevented by

pay

Change the verb form

paying

show examples

attention

on minimize

Change preposition

to minimizing

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental pollution and housing issues. In my view, I strongly with the idea of the statement

has

Correct pronoun usage

that has

show examples

been mentioned.

Firstly

, I believe that one of the reasons

cause

Change preposition

for

show examples

the effect on

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

health is the trash from the environment or many kinds of rubbish

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

thrown by households

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the causing of the bad feelings on

humanities

Fix the agreement mistake

humanity

show examples

. Environmental pollution

such

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pesticide, nylon or many chemicals from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drugs

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dangerously

Change the adverb

dangerous

show examples

effect on the age of

biology

Replace the word

biological

show examples

objects,

destroy

Correct subject-verb agreement

destroys

show examples

the immune system of people and

also

directly

impact

Correct subject-verb agreement

impacts

show examples

on many parts like

lungs

Correct article usage

the lungs

show examples

, mouths,

hearts

Correct word choice

and hearts

show examples

. In order to get a better improvement,

state

Add an article

the state

show examples

should suggest

to advise

Change the verb form

advising

show examples

the residents must minimize the amount of rubbish

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

waste over a month or encourage the farmers

using

Change the verb form

to use

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

organic

pesticide

Fix the agreement mistake

pesticides

show examples

instead

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ordinary

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

However

, it is sometimes difficult for

general

Add an article

the general

show examples

public to control the amount

trash

Change preposition

of trash

show examples

because of the increasing population. It

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

must be investigated and

keep it

Wrong verb form

kept

show examples

in demanding trend in case to help the environment become better or

also

the

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

health In conclusion, it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

must

be consider

Change the verb form

be considered

show examples

that the bad

Change preposition

for

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

is being

Correct your spelling

threatened

threatended

Correct your spelling

threatened

by environmental pollutants and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

housing problems

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Apr 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure

Work on structuring your essay more logically with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by examples.

Balance

It's important to address both sides of the argument thoroughly. While you've presented your view, consider discussing the counter-argument with more depth to strengthen your overall argument.

Vocabulary

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Avoid repetition of words and phrases to make your essay more engaging.

Grammar

Improve the accuracy of your sentence structures, grammar, and punctuation. This will help make your argument clearer and more professional.

Content

You have successfully conveyed your agreement with the statement and provided reasons for your viewpoint.

Introduction

Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion on environmental pollution and housing issues, which is a good strategy for engaging the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some museum charge entry fees while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging an entry fee outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.
In contemporary society, museums serve as repositories of culture, history, and art, playing a crucial role in educating and entertaining the public. A prevalent debate surrounds whether museums should charge entry fees or offer free admission. This essay will explore both perspectives and argue that, on balance, the advantages of charging entry fees outweigh the disadvantages.
7
band
Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that more funds are allocated for conserving animals and their environments by the public and policymakers. Some people claim that such spending could be better utilised to address the basic needs of people. In my opinion, I would like to have a balanced approach as both issues are critical to resolve concerning the overall well-being. This essay will discuss my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
7
band
More and more people tend to watch foreign movies, so the local government should encourage the development of local film industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The high rate of watching movies has been highlighted over the past decade. From this aspect, questions about whether the local authorities should encourage the improvement of the local movie industry are raised. In my opinion, the local authorities should encourage the development of the local film industry to some extent.
4.5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the recent years, it becomes a trend to move from the rural areas to cities due to this phenomenon the population of villages have been declined. Many citizens are moving to make better future of their families, others believe that it puts extra burden on cities’ infrastructures such as expansion of pollution, transport system,medical , and an increae in crime rates. In my view it is a negative development if individuals moved out, villagers will suffer with the shortage of skilled workers and upcoming developments will stop, for this notion I will provide some examples, why it is not beneficials for both rural and city’s residents.
7.5
band
You want to complain about the service that you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting. Write a letter to the person who organized the meeting. In the letter Describe the meeting Explain the problems with the service Suggest what the meeting organizer should do.
I am writing this letter to express my objection to some issues that occurred during the previous meeting.

SOME PEOPLE SAY IN ORDER TO PREVENT ILLNESS AND DISEASE, GOVERNMENT SHOULD FOCUS ON REDUCING ENVIRONMENTAL POLLUTION AND HOUSING PROBLEMS. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

Fully explain your ideas

Some museum charge entry fees while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging an entry fee outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people tend to watch foreign movies, so the local government should encourage the development of local film industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You want to complain about the service that you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting. Write a letter to the person who organized the meeting. In the letter Describe the meeting Explain the problems with the service Suggest what the meeting organizer should do.