Some people say that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, lots of individuals believe that governments will focus on reducing
environmantal
pollution and housing issues so that they can avoid illness and disease from many factors Correct your spelling
environmental
nature
. Change preposition
in nature
This
essay will agree with the argument of writer
and show Add an article
the writer
a writer
out
the reasons below.
It must be recognized that Change preposition
apply
due to
the supporting
of robots and AI technology Replace the word
support
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
human's
life Change noun form
human
condition
become more and more comfortable than before. Because of the development and improvement in breakthroughs with inventions, Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
its
caused many Correct your spelling
it has
problems
to our nature and our activities are the reason for pollution as well as
disease. Besides
, humans directly releasing contaminants into the ocean will also
cause a lot of repercussions to themselves. Therefore
, governments should not turn a blind eye to these problems
and point out some temporary and long-term methods. For instance
, they can organise a campaign or crusade to advocate for citizens in order to protect their life environment
by planting more trees, collecting floating garbage tackling housing problems
such
as hygiene in each household and helping each other to protect the natural environment
.
On the other hand
, goverments
should take Correct your spelling
governments
government
Add an article
the measure
a measure
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
of
machines, tools and Change preposition
for
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
into protecting
Change preposition
to protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
as well as
working
out some backlog Wrong verb form
work
problems
. Moreover
, higher priorities should attract citizens' lives, as it could be one of the reasons for making the environment
worse. Nowadays, people are littering and factories are releasing more contaminated fumes into the atmosphere, which harms the environment
and people living around there, therefore
the government should fine them to prevent those phenomena and protect the environment
.
In conclusion, enough awareness in defending environmental and housing issues are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
neccessary
because Correct your spelling
necessary
this
will lead to a new future life of all human
globally.Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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Task Achievement
Engage more directly with the specific question topic. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the importance of focusing on environmental pollution and housing problems for preventing illness.
Task Achievement
Ensure all paragraphs contribute directly to your argument. Some sentences appear to be general rather than focused on the essay topic.
Task Achievement
Enhance the specificity of your examples. Mention specific campaigns, technological solutions, or policies that have been or could be successful.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve clarity by avoiding overly long sentences and consider simplifying complex ideas for better understanding.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on paragraph structuring. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a logical sequence of sentences supporting that idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words effectively to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will also help in clearly marking the progression of your ideas.
Task Achievement
You established a clear stance in agreement with the focus on environmental and housing issues to prevent illness.
Task Achievement
You attempted to cover a broad range of ideas related to environmental protection and housing issues, which is commendable.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay structure includes both introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.