Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying altrnative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that it is more beneficial
cosuming
Correct your spelling
consuming
alternative
medicines
rather than taking advice from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional physicians. I
firemly
Correct your spelling
firmly
believe that
although
this
trend of taking
alternative
medicines
carries both
positive
Fix the agreement mistake
positives
show examples
and negatives, I would argue that the disadvantages are far stronger. Admittedly, there are some benefits associated with
this
development.
Firstly
, these categories of drug remedies
contains
Change the verb form
contain
show examples
fewer side effects
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
allopathy
medicines
.
For instance
, the basic compositions of
Ayurvedhic
Correct your spelling
Ayurvedic
medicice
Correct your spelling
medicine
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
made
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
the extracts of herbal plants and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
parts.
Hence
, there is no
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
of occuring adverse reactions in patients.
Secondly
, most of the
alternative
medicines
regimes are affordable for the
beneficieries
Correct your spelling
beneficiaries
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
greatly
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
the economically weaker populations in our society. To exemplify that, the locally available natural remedies
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
in Unani and Siddha drugs can be provided
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
lower retail
prize
Correct your spelling
prices
show examples
.
Nonetheless
, despite the positives mentioned above, I believe that
this
development is negative
overall
for two reasons. One is that, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no clinically tested or proven practices in the field of
alternative
medicines
,
thus
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more
possibities
Correct your spelling
possibilities
for malpractices and
fraudulant
Correct your spelling
fraudulent
activities.
For example
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of drugs
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
undergoes
Change the verb form
undergo
show examples
certain
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of quality
checkes
Correct your spelling
checks
checked
checkers
and safety standard monitoring authorizations by the Government drug
contole
Correct your spelling
console
control
departments that may lead to mishaps and epidemic events like community hazards and morbidities among people those were using these categories of drugs. Another point to consider is that there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no
possibities
Correct your spelling
possibility
of proper diagnostic methods followed by the practitioners of
alternative
medicines
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to the certified Doctors.
For instance
, there are more incidents of commencement of treatment without conducting recommended diagnostic tests in naturopathies,
whereas
, modern doctors prefer to find out the disease conditions and initiation of required
treament
Correct your spelling
treatment
of choice only after doing clinical and radiological tests in sick clients. In conclusion ,
while
I acknowledge the possible upsides of giving more preference to
alternative
medicines
, it is my personal conviction that the downsides are more pronounced.
Submitted by dixonpeter24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Spelling and Typos
Try to maintain consistency in spelling, such as 'Ayurvedic' instead of 'Ayurvedhic', and be mindful of typographical errors like 'cosuming' (consuming), 'firemly' (firmly), 'beneficieries' (beneficiaries), and 'prize' (price). Ensuring correct spelling contributes to clarity and professionalism in your writing.
Use of Linkers
Consider using a wider range of linking words to help transition more smoothly between ideas and paragraphs. While your essay is logically structured, enhancing the use of connectives can improve the flow and coherence of your argument.
Argument Development
For better task achievement, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses the prompt. Your essay admirably outlines both sides of the argument; continuing to refine how each paragraph's main idea supports your stance will enhance clarity. Include more varied and specific examples to substantiate your arguments further.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument, demonstrating good capability in structuring your essay.
Balanced Argument
You've done well to provide supporting points for both the advantages and disadvantages of alternative medicines, which shows a balanced approach to answering the essay question.
Use of Examples
The inclusion of specific examples, such as Ayurvedic medicine and government drug control departments, helps to illustrate your points clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: