In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

It is true that in wealthy countries
people
can expect to live longer than ever before.
Although
there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of
this
trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems. As
people
are living longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related problems can be anticipated. The main reason is that the number of
people
who are eligible to receive a pension is increasing and the
people
who provide the taxes of adult worker proportions are decreasing.
Thus
, the young
people
who pay taxes are becoming a greater burden of
a
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apply
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retirement
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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.
Further
pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young adults have to look after their elderly relatives. To overcome these problems, the government should take several actions to decrease the
aging
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ageing
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population burden.
Firstly
, they can increase the retirement age, perhaps from 60 to 70.
Because
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apply
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, Nowadays,
people
of
this
age tend to be fit and healthy enough to remain contributing to their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
Secondly
, the government should encourage immigration in order to increase young populations and the
people
who pay taxes.
Finally
, they
also
can loosen their travel visa access to increase the
visitor
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number of visitors
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to stimulate the country’s economy
then
health
visa
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visas
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to encourage the nearest countries to take medicine service, through
this
approach
Add a comma
approach,
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we can attain a vast amount of funds and tax income to address the problem that we face. In conclusion, to balance the above problem,we can utilize various measures to mitigate the country’s growing older that cause of
threaten
Replace the word
threat
show examples
.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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Sentence Variety
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Coherence
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Task Achievement
You have made a good effort in outlining both the problems and potential solutions regarding the ageing population, which shows strong task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, contributing to a high score in coherence and cohesion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
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