In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
It is true that in wealthy countries
people
can expect to live longer than ever before. Use synonyms
Although
there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of Linking Words
this
trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.
As Linking Words
people
are living longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related problems can be anticipated. The main reason is that the number of Use synonyms
people
who are eligible to receive a pension is increasing and the Use synonyms
people
who provide the taxes of adult worker proportions are decreasing. Use synonyms
Thus
, the young Linking Words
people
who pay taxes are becoming a greater burden of Use synonyms
a
retirement Correct article usage
apply
fee
. Fix the agreement mistake
fees
Further
pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and Linking Words
the
young adults have to look after their elderly relatives.
To overcome these problems, the government should take several actions to decrease the Correct article usage
apply
aging
population burden. Change the spelling
ageing
Firstly
, they can increase the retirement age, perhaps from 60 to 70. Linking Words
Because
, Nowadays, Correct word choice
apply
people
of Use synonyms
this
age tend to be fit and healthy enough to remain contributing to their Linking Words
job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Secondly
, the government should encourage immigration in order to increase young populations and the Linking Words
people
who pay taxes. Use synonyms
Finally
, they Linking Words
also
can loosen their travel visa access to increase the Linking Words
visitor
to stimulate the country’s economy Fix the agreement mistake
number of visitors
then
health Linking Words
visa
to encourage the nearest countries to take medicine service, through Fix the agreement mistake
visas
this
Linking Words
approach
we can attain a vast amount of funds and tax income to address the problem that we face.
In conclusion, to balance the above problem,we can utilize various measures to mitigate the country’s growing older that cause of Add a comma
approach,
threaten
.Replace the word
threat
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Specific Examples
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Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and complexity of the essay. This can involve more complex compound sentences or varying the openings of sentences to avoid repetition.
Coherence
To improve coherence, try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Using a variety of linking words can help guide the reader more clearly from one point to the next.
Task Achievement
You have made a good effort in outlining both the problems and potential solutions regarding the ageing population, which shows strong task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, contributing to a high score in coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.