People doing dangerous sporting activities like scuba-diving and bungee-jumping should be responsible for their own safety. Rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #safety #rescue #workers #risk #lives #sports

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People

who carry out extreme sports,

such

as scuba diving and bungee jumping, have responsibility for their own safety.

Thus

rescue

teams do not risk their lives in order to keep those

people

However

, I opposite to the given argument for several reasons.

To begin

with, I believe that

people

have to take care of themself during all activities they do, including low-risk or even high-risk activities.

Although

they have efforts to keep them safe, there are still uncontrollable conditions which can put

people

in harmful conditions.

For example

, in bungee-jumping sports, there are probability of harmful accidents caused by the tools, like broken ropes or other things, even though the

people

doing the sport are using a body harness for their own safety.

Therefore

rescue

workers are needed to handle

this

situation. Related to the

rescue

workers, I believe that they are professional

people

who have much training to mitigate some accidents from small to worse ones.

Therefore

, the safety risks to the worker's lives can be minimized.

Nevertheless

, the owner who provides these dangerous

activitiesactivities

Correct your spelling

activities activities

has to maintain the physical and mental health of the workers in order to keep them

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fit conditions.

To sum up

, I think the responsibility of

people

who do extreme sports becomes their own, but they still need support system teams to help them if they are in an unsafe condition that can harm them.

In addition

, the

rescue

teams

also

have to get a good work environment in order to decrease the risks during guarding those activities.

Submitted by dika2024 on Sun May 12 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, illustrating your position with relevant examples. However, adding more specific instances or statistics could strengthen your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, you've demonstrated a logical flow of ideas. To enhance this further, consider varying your sentence structures and using more diverse linking words for smoother transitions between ideas.

Task Achievement

Ensure all relevant safety equipment and procedures for extreme sports are accurately mentioned to bolster your argument on the necessity of rescue operations.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly stating your position and summarizing your main points.

Task Achievement

You've managed to keep a good balance between discussing personal responsibility and the role of rescue teams, which is commendable for maintaining task relevance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

intrinsic risks
rigorous training
ethical duty
thrill-seeking behaviors
high-risk activities
rescue operations
emotional toll
financial burden
safety standards
regulations
innovation
technology-enhanced safety
personal responsibility
adventure sports
extreme sports

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People doing dangerous sporting activities like scuba-diving and bungee-jumping should be responsible for their own safety. Rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals.

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news event.Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

All art needs to be beautiful in order to be valuable. If art is ugly, it is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.