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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities such as crossword puzzles or chess. Discuss the both views and include your own opinion.

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In today's world,
people
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 are exposed to a variety of challenges in their lives. To handle
this
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 load of mental burden,
people
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 have to come up with solutions to relax.
where as
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whereas
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 some
people
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 would prefer doing mental
activities
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 to get away from stress, others may like physical
activities
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 better.
This
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 essay discusses both points of view and states my personal opinion as well.
To begin
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 with, there are a large number of individuals who find mental
activities
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such
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 as doing crossword puzzles more relaxing.
For instance
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,
while
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 doing a crossword puzzle you have to focus on specific clues and the puzzles which will take you away from daily distresses.
Moreover
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, if the puzzle is one of the intricate ones, after trying hard to
figuring
Wrong verb form
figure
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 out the difficult hints, you might feel more satisfied. I do not agree with
this
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 opinion as I believe the human mind has a limited capacity. Using mental
activities
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 to relax will keep the mind occupied,
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consequently
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consequently,
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 no other energy is left for essential daily tasks.
On the other hand
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, there are other parts of society
who
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that
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 decompress themselves by doing physical
activities
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. Taking doing aerobic
excercises
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exercises
exercise
 as an example, it takes away the stress. studies have proven that mild to moderate physical activity can reduce stress hormones
such
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 as cortisol and increase
the
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apply
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happiness hormones like endorphins
instead
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.
Moreover
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,
while
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 doing some specific types of sports
such
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 as volleyball one has to strictly concentrate on the
opponents
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opponent's
opponents'
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 actions so that they can counteract properly.
Therefore
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, for a certain period of
time
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time,
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 the mind has an opportunity to forget about the disturbances and chill. I
also
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 advocate
this
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 view and believe physical workouts are more beneficial in
this
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 respect. In summary,
people
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 have different attitudes toward finding relaxing
activities
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. I am inclined to believe that physical
activities
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 are more advantageous in terms of relaxing.

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Introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the structure of your essay. Introduce both views and briefly mention your own opinion to guide the reader through your discussion.
Examples
Add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While you mentioned studies and general activities, including specific studies or personal anecdotes can enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Generalization
Be cautious of overgeneralizations. Statements about the human mind's capacity or the effects of physical exercise could benefit from more nuanced language or supporting evidence.
Conclusion
Consider a more nuanced conclusion. Summarize the main points of both views before stating your own opinion. This helps to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding and consideration of the topic.
Structure
Your essay has a clear structure and logically progresses from one idea to another, which greatly aids in readability and coherence.
Introduction/Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively encapsulate your main points and personal stance in a concise manner.
Supporting Points
You have effectively supported your points with reasoning, demonstrating an understanding of how different activities can serve as relaxation techniques.
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