Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree???

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I agree that addressing environmental

pollution

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and housing

problems

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can play a significant role in preventing

illness

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and

disease

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However

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, I

also

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believe that focusing solely on these

issues

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might not be sufficient, as public

health

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is influenced by various other factors. Below is my discussion on why I agree with the importance of addressing these

issues

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and why a more comprehensive approach is needed for the best outcomes. Reducing environmental

pollution

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is a crucial step in preventing

illness

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and

disease

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Pollution

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, whether from air, water, or soil, can have serious

health

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consequences. Air

pollution

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for instance

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, is linked to respiratory diseases

such

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as asthma and bronchitis,

as well as

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cardiovascular

issues

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. Water

pollution

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can lead to a range of diseases, including gastrointestinal infections and other serious

health

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problems

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. By reducing environmental

pollution

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governments

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can directly lower the risk of these

health

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issues

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Similarly

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, improving housing conditions can significantly affect public

health

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. Poor housing, characterized by dampness,

mold

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mould

show examples

, inadequate heating, and overcrowding, has been associated with various

health

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issues

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. Overcrowding can lead to the rapid spread of infectious diseases,

while

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damp and

moldy

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mouldy

show examples

environments can trigger respiratory

problems

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and allergies. By addressing housing

problems

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governments

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can create healthier living environments, reducing the risk of

illness

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and

disease

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among residents. Despite the importance of tackling

pollution

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and housing

issues

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, it's essential to recognize that public

health

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is influenced by a broader range of factors.

Health

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education, access to healthcare, vaccination programs, and public

health

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campaigns all play a vital role in preventing

disease

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. A focus on these areas can complement efforts to reduce

pollution

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and improve housing.

Additionally

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, lifestyle factors

such

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as diet, exercise, and stress management contribute to

overall

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health

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, which

governments

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should

also

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encourage. In conclusion, I agree that reducing environmental

pollution

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and addressing housing

problems

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are crucial to preventing

illness

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and

disease

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However

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, these efforts should be part of a more comprehensive approach that includes public

health

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education, improved healthcare access, and promoting healthy lifestyles. By combining these strategies,

governments

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can effectively work toward creating a healthier society.

[email protected]Wed Apr 24 2024

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Style Improvement

Consider integrating more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate linguistic flexibility.

Cohesion Enhancement

Explore diverse linking words beyond common ones to further improve coherence and cohesion.

Depth of Argumentation

Although the essay comprehensively addresses the topic, incorporating counterpoints or alternative views could enrich the argumentation.

Structure

You have clearly outlined and adhered to a logical structure, making your essay easy to follow.

Introduction/Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your main arguments, exhibiting a strong command of the essay's scope.

Supporting Evidence

You provided relevant examples and explanations that directly support your arguments, showcasing your ability to develop ideas thoroughly.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Environmental pollution
Public health
Respiratory diseases
Cardiovascular conditions
Infectious diseases
Mental health problems
Government intervention
Industrial emissions
Clean energy sources
Public housing policies
Safe and affordable housing
Environmental hazards
Green public spaces
Community well-being
Physical inactivity

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Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree???

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Today, the high sales of popular goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter, thank them for the photos and the holiday explain why you didn't write earlier invite them to come and stay with you