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Band 3

happiness is considered very important in life. why is it difficult to define? what factors are important in achieving happiness?

#happiness #life #factors
Joyfulness plays an important role in
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 life
although
 it is sometimes complicated to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 it. Many
crowd
Change to a plural noun
crowds
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 consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
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felicity in different ways; some of them
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 it from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
honours, tasks, and goals whilst
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
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 glee can be achieved from
wealthness
Correct your spelling
wealthiness
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and other factors.
For example
, in my family, when our elders get their pension or salary monthly, they will be over the moon. From my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, people make the tough ways to be happier themselves.
Furthermore
, the ways we are living, and the choices we are making permanently always decide what kind of feelings are awaiting us in the future.
For instance
, my mother, who neglected her studies for matrimony now regrets every moment because of not choosing the life she always wanted to live when she was younger.
To conclude
, even though
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bliss seems to be easier to achieve
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, every choice we will face in our lives will decide it.
Submitted by nazim200709 on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay clearly answers each part of the prompt, providing distinct examples and explanations for both questions.
task achievement
Work on diverse sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly express your ideas. Aim for accuracy in grammar and word choice.
coherence and cohesion
Streamline your ideas with clear, logical connectors to enhance readability. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Revise your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve phraseology for clarity.
task achievement
You've introduced the concept of happiness as subjective and varied across individuals, which is a great start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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