In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

Nowadays, there has been a rising reflection on the relation

that is

Linking Words

held between equality and personal achievements; some think gives more opportunities ,

while

Linking Words

others believe that the path towards success is freedom from failure or winning. I believe that equality slows down hardworking citizens, but gives more opportunities to pursue our centres of interest. On the one hand,

this

Linking Words

relationship is not favourable for everyone, as it limits people regarding their revenue. Some individuals aim for better jobs or higher ranks;

however

Linking Words

, since everyone gets the same amount of money, the efforts would be in vain , since nothing compensates them.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, those aiming to buy expensive things would be disadvantaged as they cannot count on a better job to get money.

For instance

Linking Words

, planning a trip to New York is very expensive.

Consequently

Linking Words

, individuals might have to hustle and work on their free time for a long time before they save up enough money to go to New York

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

“equal opportunity”-based organisation grants a lot of freedom regarding the future persons want, in terms of interest.

Firstly

Linking Words

, choosing to work in a specific subject is easier since every job has the same salary.

Moreover

Linking Words

, studying is

also

Linking Words

affected positively, as studies can be very costly in non-egalitarian nations;

this

Linking Words

type of organisation can make it affordable for everybody.

For example

Linking Words

, achieving a degree in dance is easier; students can now achieve their goals regardless of living in poverty, in case they do not become a star.

To conclude

Linking Words

, the relationship between equality and one’s achievements can be adverse to people desiring more capital, but it is positive if one aspires to work in the field he is interested in.

santos_dij

Jan 19, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Plan your essay. Start with a short intro that states your view, then give two clear points in the body, and finish with a short conclusion.

language

Use simple and exact words. Watch long or odd phrases. Use full stops and commas to end your ideas.

coherence

Link ideas with easy words such as also, and, but, however. Let ideas flow from one to the next.

content

Give one or two clear examples for each idea and show how equality can slow or help a person, in plain terms.

organization

Make sure each paragraph has one main idea. Start each paragraph with a small line that states the idea.

positioning

Your view is clear from the start.

evidence

You give examples to back points.

closing

You finish with a conclusion that restates your view.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent times many countries have been depending on importing and exporting goods. It is a highly debatable issue whether countries should avoid the amount of food that they import , or whether they mainly eat products from their own country. I totally agree that it is useful to import goods from other countries. This essay will outline the importance of importing foods and not only mainly depending on our country's food.
6
band
You rented a car from Car Rental Company. The air conditioner has stopped working. You phoned the company a week ago but it still has not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter • introduce yourself • explain the situation • say what action you would like the company to take
I’m going to write you a letter to draw your attention about the problem with the car I have rented recently from your company on 25th of July.
6.5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept bad situations such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is best to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The belief regarding whether it is better to accept bad situations or strive to improve them varies among individuals. Some argue that accepting bad situations, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, is the best approach, while others contend that it is more beneficial to actively work towards improving these situations. Let's discuss both perspectives and then I will provide my own opinion.
7
band
Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?
Nowadays, due to the advancement in technology, It is viable for several numbers of individuals to telecommute from their homes by using the web and laptops rather than
8
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children, Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couple who decide to do this.
Nowadays, the global birth rate has declined as more married couples choose not to conceive for various reasons. Financial freedom, pursuing unthinkable hobbies, and better living standards are the main reasons why many parents do not have children. In this essay, I will discuss the disadvantages of this decision.

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept bad situations such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is best to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children, Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couple who decide to do this.