IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings

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A vast majority of cities are constructing residential zones by constructing high-rise buildings,
while
Linking Words
 others create housing by houses which are located on a wider area of land. Skyscrapers are better, as they provide services which can help individuals
to
Verb problem
apply
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save their time and money,
while
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 individual place of residence requires a good amount of attention. Tall apartments are the best solution because they have their own privileges
such
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 as security, cleaning of entrance and playground for kids, which are money-saving and
laboursaving
Correct your spelling
labour-saving
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. As, by dividing a certain price among all people who live in that particular place , they can pay less.
For example
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, in the city called Shymkent , 55 per cent of the population is moving to flats , especially to the property of a builder named Bi Group.
For
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this
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 reason
Add a comma
,
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they are offering convenient facilities
such
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 as closed yards with security, so parents will not be worried about their kids. Detached
mansion
Fix the agreement mistake
mansions
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 are not the profitable variant, as an individual should take off his property by highlighting a special date
and
Correct word choice
apply
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.
Due to
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 the fact,that it is a big land.
For instance
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, a good number of the crowd
are wanting
Wrong verb form
want
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 to change their place of living, as they do not have time to take care of their home and they can not pay for security and cleaning. In conclusion, tall buildings are better, as they have a comfortable service for people, meantime individual
residence
Fix the agreement mistake
residences
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 require a lot of time. It is predicted that, after 20 or 30 years everyone will change their houses.

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Sentence Variety
To enhance your essay further, you might want to explore more diverse structures for your sentences to increase the sophistication of your expression.
Detail Enhancement
Develop your examples a bit more. Providing more detailed examples can help to underline your arguments and add depth to your essay.
Argument Development
Considering both sides of the argument more thoroughly could add depth to your response. This includes offering a more detailed examination of why some might prefer individual homes despite the benefits of high-rise living.
Organization
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids understanding.
Example Use
You have used examples, like the reference to Shymkent and the Bi Group, to support your points, which bolsters your argument effectively.
Point Support
Your main points are supported and relevant to the topic, contributing positively to the cohesiveness of your writing.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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