The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
This
chart depicts the ages from 18 to 25 using electronic items in Canada in various years.
Overall
, it is clearly apparent, that the Conventional TV
has the highest proportion of usage
besides
the desktop computer also
the second highest usage
. However
, in the other year
both of these became the least favourite Respectively.
Add a comma
year,
To begin
with, In 2009 Conventional TV
had the highest user base among all other electronic products with above a quarter ratio of around 34% but after a decade Conventional TV
became the lowest in usage
rank at 4% likewise
, Desktop Computer was second place with 18% of ratio but throughout the period there was a steadily dive in the percentage of 6% and remains with 12% in 2019. Furthermore
, the Laptop was
previously accounted for around 20% and after a year of decline it stood at 12%.
Unnecessary verb
apply
In addition
, Flat-screen TV
was the second lowest usage
in 2009 but throughout
Change preposition
over
the
time there was an increment in resurgence and became the most usable electronic device in 2019. Correct article usage
apply
While
in the beginning Tablet was having usage
to 5% but afterwards having a steadily upwards it stood up till 19%. lastly
, earlier Mobile phones were recorded at 15% and after 10 years it seems an increased by 11% (26%).Submitted by tushalk329
on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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