Globalization is creating a world with a single culture and destroying national identity in the process.To what extend do you agree or disagree
Globalization is creating a world with a single culture and destroying national identity in the process. To what extent do you agree and disagree?
One of the most controversial issues today is related to globalism which has led to eliminating national identity because of several factors to be considered. I completely agree with it does not mean not to keep their culture and tradition. In order to continue
this
statement and give more clarification in the following paragraphs.
The main reason for believing this
is a significant explosion in the number of utilizers from up to date
technological applications Add a hyphen
up-to-date
such
as Tiktok
, Correct your spelling
TikTok
WhatApp
and so on. By means of these kinds of electronic gadgets, Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
people
tend to spend more time surfing the net, especially youngsters. Most people
are also
interested in imitating foreign actors and singers globally. It resulted in ruining cultural traditions among countries together with
its language and history.
However
, from my point of view, I think that it would be a great mistake to forget about culture
and traditions Correct article usage
the culture
in
one's country. Change preposition
of
As a consequence
of
Change preposition
apply
it
, Correct pronoun usage
apply
extinction
of customs and habits Correct article usage
the extinction
such
as cooking traditional food and celebrating national holidays will become common. Using technology in recent years is a good opportunity for people
to become aware of anything happening around the world, however
Add a comma
,
roots
of the country, Correct article usage
the roots
people
should put into practice to learn
their own Verb problem
apply
heritages
.
Fix the agreement mistake
heritage
To conclude
, I would argue that although
multiculturalism can cause problems facing disconnections culturally, there can be several approaches to deal with such
as improving children's education about their nationality and utilizing the internet by youth in a
right way.Correct article usage
the
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Precision of Language
Be cautious of overgeneralization. Phrases like 'everyone' or 'all people' can detract from the strength of your argument. Consider using more nuanced language to acknowledge variation among individuals and cultures.
Use of Linkers
To enhance coherence, utilize a wider range of linking words and phrases beyond basics like 'however' and 'because.' This will make the progression of your ideas smoother and more sophisticated.
Depth and Development of Ideas
Deepen your argument with more varied and specific examples. While the ones provided add value, incorporating a broader range of evidence could strengthen your position.
Addressing the Prompt
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, taking a clear stance on the issue and thoroughly discussing it.
Structural Integrity
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively bookend your discussion, providing a clear opener and closer to your argument.
Use of Examples
You have a good use of examples to support your points, particularly noting the impact of technology on culture and identity.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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