IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Professionals such as doctors and engineers should be worked in the country where they get training.others believe they should be free to work in another country as they wish

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As enunciated by a proportion , well-educated engineers and doctors ought to give their service where they learn
while
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 others contradictory viewpoint these professionals have rights to choose their working placement as their own preferences.Albeit there is a dichotomy of views on
this
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 concern I partially agree with
this
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 apprehension and every individual has a significant right to what they prefer .I will provide interesting justifications and exemplify essential elements to justify my perspective .
To begin
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 with, doctors, engineers, managers and athletic trainers have placed a high premium on society. These professions have a responsibility and demand a duty
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 own
nation
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, the government and the ministry invest huge amounts of money in free educational aspects
such
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 as schools, universities, degrees, and courses to develop
students
Use synonyms
' skills and various elements.
Consequently
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, individuals should respect ethics.
Students
Use synonyms
 ought to give their service to their community.
For instance
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, a popular
nation
Use synonyms
 is suffering from extreme poverty but they provide superior education backgrounds for their future
students
Use synonyms
 to get more and more services including politicians, teachers, doctors, managers, directors and chefs what if these professionals go abroad what will happen to their own pupils and
Use synonyms
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 hopes
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
On the other hand
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, a proportion may assume all individuals can do and choose whatever they prefer to do.
Students
Use synonyms
 can choose their own future.
For instance
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, national unemployment unsuitable salaries, violence and aggressive co-workers, hard to find a job
according to
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 knowledge and skills
as well as
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 family backgrounds, problems will lead to getting an occupation in another
nation
Use synonyms
. Not only these aspects but
also
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 more and more
students
Use synonyms
 go abroad for their studies. In fact, they should come back to their own
nation
Use synonyms
 to share their skills and give particular service to locals.
To sum up
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, in my perspective, everyone works hard to get a better education and make an incredible lifestyle.
due to
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 the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they can choose their path and work in their preferred industry and country.

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organisation
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly, with one main idea per paragraph supporting your argument. This will enhance clarity and make your essay more compelling.
argument
Enhance your essay by presenting a more balanced view in the body paragraphs, ensuring you explore both sides of the argument before presenting your own viewpoint.
language
To improve your score further, refine your use of language for greater precision and variety. Avoid overly complex sentences if they compromise clarity.
examples
Integrate examples more effectively by explicitly linking them to your argument. This will demonstrate a stronger command of task achievement.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, showing a strong grasp of essay structure.
vocabulary
You have a good range of vocabulary, which adds depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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