some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is commonly believed that
to
unite all Correct your spelling
it
people
from different cultures and ages together with
musicmusic
. I agree with the statement because Correct your spelling
music music
this
music
will teach another language
, promote empathy
, and celebrate diversity.
Firstly
, one reason why music
might be crucial to uniting the whole people
of the world is providing another language
. In the cutting-edge era, individuals can access some music
from different countries. While
they feel the melody of the music
is good even though they do not know the meaning of the song. they might be curious about the meaning and undeliberately then
they study this
language
. Therefore
, music
is one of the factors why people
want to study another language
.
Another consideration why music
is a good way of uniting people
of different cultures and ages together is promoting empathy
. Music
serves as a powerful tool for expressing the current state of a country. By listening to music
that reflects different nations, individuals can develop a deeper understanding of global issues and cultivate empathy
towards people
from diverse cultural backgrounds.
Lastly
, the other point on music
that can unite all people
is celebrating diversity. Each country has different races and perspectives which is the source of problems. By providing music
, they can leverage one moment to celebrate diversity like a country has won a champion league in soccer.
In conclusion, bringing people
of different cultures and ages together can be done through music
to study another language
, promote a sense of empathy
, and celebrate a different culture.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Task Achievement
To improve your score further, make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument with specific examples and clear explanations. While you have provided some examples, elaborating more on how these examples support your argument can enhance clarity and impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wide range of vocabulary to convey your points more vividly. This can also include using transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
You provided a clear and logical structure to your essay, which helps in making your argument coherent and easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the prompt, providing a comprehensive response to the topic and clearly stating your agreement with the idea that music unites people of different cultures and ages.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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