It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
All towns and
cities
must have public outdoor places
like parks
and squares. It will improve the environment cleaners and make the places
more attractive. I personally agree with this
for a variety of reasons.
Firstly
, If the cities
and towns have public toilets
it attracts the public to spend more time
in parks
and squares and it will be more convenient to access the public toilets
whenever they want to use them. For instance
, If the baby has to poop it is easy to access the public toilets
and it will make people
to
stay longer in Change the verb form
apply
parks
and it will increase economic growth. Wherever the public toilets
were opened the places
were neat and healthy to spend time
.
Secondly
, In the evening time
, most people
spend quality time
in parks
, especially old people
spend their maximum time
in parks
and squares. For example
, old people
need toilets
to be easily accessible and make healthy surroundings to avoid diseases. Most people
like to spend their time
outside rather than at home and pregnant ladies were used to coming there to breathe fresh air and to meditate. If the cities
are clean the tourist places
increase and then
the city's economy will improve and it will become the city's most popular.
In conclusion, I completely agree that cities
and towns need public toilets
to use whenever they want. I suggest that public toilets
will increase the quality of life in cities
and make people
feel confident whenever they go outside in cities
.Submitted by insighttribez on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Your essay would benefit from a clearer focus on outdoor spaces like parks and squares as per the prompt, rather than public toilets. Try to closely align your examples and main points with the original statement about public outdoor places.
Task Achievement
Make sure all paragraphs contribute clearly to your argument concerning the topic. While discussing hygiene and convenience is valid, directly link these aspects to the availability of outdoor public spaces.
Coherence and Cohesion
Continue to structure your essay with clear introductions, developments, and conclusions. This was well executed and enhances the logical flow of your arguments.
Cohesion
You can further improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph contains one main idea that is clearly stated in the topic sentence. Follow this with supporting sentences that expand or illustrate the main idea.
Examples
You effectively use real-life examples to support your points, enhancing the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarises your viewpoint effectively, reinforcing the overall argument of your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite