IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all over the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, there are lots of
supermarkets
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 that appear to respond to the increased customer need for consumer goods.
This
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 essay will talk about the pros and cons of
supermarkets
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 and give my opinion that there are more benefits than drawbacks. Admittedly, the source
products
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 of
supermarkets
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 are usually plentiful and diverse. The consumer can find their favourite goods coming from retail outlets that import these source rows from well-known trademarks from all over the world.
Besides
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, these items from
supermarkets
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 can earn customers' belief that they have confidence in quality and freshness.
For instance
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, both markets and malls have the same item, but for comparison, buyers tend to purchase from the emporium.
In addition
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, the service of malls is
also
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 a thing drawing residents' attention.
Instead
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 of going to crowded markets with jostling, buyers can obtain quality
products
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 in a comfortable and abundant place like
supermarkets
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.
On the other hand
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, some problems need to be paid attention to.
First,
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it can be said that the item's price in the
supermarkets
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 is quite costly. Inhabitants have to spend a lot from 1 part of their budget to gain something from resellers.
Second,
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most people go to
supermarkets
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, so customers usually complain when waiting at checkout or taking their vehicle from parking.
Besides
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, dependence on foreign
products
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 may undermine the local industry.
For instance
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, when more people choose to purchase imported commodities, the sales of local
products
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 will decrease. In conclusion, department stores might have drawbacks, but in my view,
supermarkets
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' benefits still outweigh them. The important thing is that mall owners should understand customers clearly to minimize the drawbacks.

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Topic relevance
Try to ensure that your essay sticks closely to the prompt. Specifically, focus more concretely on the advantages and disadvantages of supermarkets selling imported foods, rather than supermarkets in general.
Supporting details
Integrate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments about the advantages and disadvantages of selling imported foods in supermarkets.
Paragraph structure
Focus on clarity in your argumentation. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences align with that main idea.
Language accuracy
Watch for occasional linguistic inaccuracies or awkward phrasing that can detract from the clarity of your argument. Polishing your language use can improve your score further.
Lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. This can help to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Balanced argument
You provided a balanced view on the topic, discussing both sides before stating your opinion.
Essay structure
Your essay structure is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs for each side of the argument, and a conclusion.
Task response
You demonstrated a good understanding of the essay format and responded to the task with relevant content.
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