Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

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Some
people
feel that accepting unsatisfactory circumstances demonstrates a good attitude. Others argue that
people
should take action to improve their bad
situation
. In
this
essay, I will argue that
people
should have a positive attitude, face challenges, overcome difficulties, and make their lives better.
One
of the main arguments about accepting bad
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
is
people
probably cannot change their lives, no matter of jobs, incoming, or physical health.
This
is because changing
one
’s
situation
will pay much more,
such
as focusing
one
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on one
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goal without any
distraction
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distractions
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, time consuming, and financial outputs. These factors can easily stop
one
person
changing
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from changing
show examples
situation
Correct pronoun usage
their situation
his situation
her situation
show examples
and
receive
Wrong verb form
receiving
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nothing.
Hence
, when
someone
try
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tries
show examples
to change
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
situation
and
fail
Correct subject-verb agreement
fails
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, he/she will probably accept it despite the unsatisfactory. Another argument in favour of being positive and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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action to change bad
situation
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situations
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is
people
can
finally
get
Verb problem
achieve
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their
goal
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goals
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and achieve a lot, which must go through hard
working
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work
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,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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patient
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patience
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, and even kind of pain.
For example
, if a young NBA player
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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wants to be the MVP (the most
valueble
Correct your spelling
valuable
player) in a season, he must practice a lot, throw in thousands and thousands
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of ball
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ball
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balls
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during daily training, and keep his motivation. After that, he may
can being
Wrong verb form
be
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a
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an
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MVP at
final
Correct article usage
the final
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,
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apply
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or
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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in the MVP selection. But
going
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by going
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through the hard
traing
Correct your spelling
training
, he can
also
improve himself on physical and financial income. The more outputs
someone
pay
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pays
show examples
, the more improvement
someone
will receive. In conclusion,
while
it is true that changing a bad
situation
do not does not
means
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mean
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achieving
one
's goal easily, I believe that
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
positive attitude following
extensively
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extensive
show examples
effort can still help
someone
achieve more improvement.
Submitted by universe.edge on

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grammar
Be sure to proofread your essay to catch grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, at the end of your introduction, consider rephrasing to avoid the repetition of 'positive attitude.'
content
In your first argument, try to elaborate on how exactly factors like financial outputs and focusing on one goal can prevent someone from making a change. Specific examples or scenarios will strengthen your argument.
grammar
In your conclusion, ensure that your sentence construction is error-free. For instance, 'do not does not mean' should be 'does not mean,' and 'the a positive attitude' should be 'a positive attitude.'
content
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
content
The example of the NBA player is specific and clear, illustrating your point that hard work and dedication can lead to improvement.
structure
The essay concludes with a personal opinion, which clearly aligns with the essay's argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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