Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Over the
last
few decades, some developing countries have spent money
on railways, whereas
Correct word choice
which
it
might Correct pronoun usage
they
be have
traffic conjunctions or need Change the verb form
have
the
new public transportation. Correct article usage
apply
However
, if governments should spend money
on roads, most individuals buy cars
increase
the traffic.
On the one hand, frequently accessing railways is less expensive and more stable than using Add the particle
to increase
cars
. People tend to save money
on petrol and car maintenance by only buying a ticket for a train. Henceforth, through substituting vehicles with trains, there are fewer opportunities for cars
to break down requiring less money
to be spent on fixing the problems. Furthermore
, the railway system runs on a strict schedule which prevents delays that can occur on the road like traffic jams. New York is a prime example of this
, in which individuals opt for utilizing subways as it is a cheaper alternative and allow
for more punctuality.
On the other hand
, public transport has greatly reduced the amount of pollution cities experience. Railroads have a larger capacity allowing a large quantity of people to travel in the same direction at the same time, lowering the amount of pollution emitted . However
, with automobiles, there is a limit of five passengers causing a greater amount of cars
to be on the road leading to the expulsion of more carbon emissions. For instance
, the environmental benefit of railroads over roads has caused more experts to advocate for the usage of such
systems.
In conclusion, in my view, trains should be given priority over roads because they cost less money
and are more constant. Moreover
, it is a great way to help save the environment.Submitted by buyabuya201 on
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Introduction
Introduction could be improved by clearly stating your position regarding governments spending on railways rather than roads. A clear thesis statement enhances your argument's clarity.
Coherence
Ensure your essay has a clear logical flow by using a range of linking devices and paragraphs that clearly separate your ideas. This will enhance the coherence of your argument.
Supporting Examples
Use specific examples to support your arguments. While you made some references, more detailed examples would strengthen your points and make your argument more persuasive.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay close attention to grammar and sentence structure to avoid small errors that can detract from the clarity of your message. Consider revising for grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structures.
Task Response
Addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the task.
Structure
Effectively used paragraphs to organize thoughts and arguments, which helps in making your essay readable.
Content
Good focus on the benefits of railways over roads, including economic and environmental advantages.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.