In many countries, people are now living longer then ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

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Nowadays, in some parts of the world,

people

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are living longer compared to previous decades. There has been a debate on

wheather

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whether

this

Linking Words

population

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brings more problems to governments or

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is more

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beneficial. In my opinion, the disadvantages of having

elderly

Correct article usage

an elderly

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population

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outweigh the advantages. One of the advantages of having

Correct article usage

an elder

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elder

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elderly

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population

Use synonyms

is that they can be

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

sources of local history. In many developing countries, students can delve into historical narratives about their hometown by conducting interviews with senior

citizen

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citizens

show examples

This

Linking Words

is because they live in some historical periods

such

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as World War 2, colonialism and

early

Correct article usage

the early

show examples

internet era. In Indonesia,

for example

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, historians could write on

social

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the social

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history of war against colonialism in the

mid of 20th

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mid-20th

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century

Correct word choice

and employed

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employed

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employ

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interview

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the interview

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method

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methods

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with elder citizens who lived in that period.

Therefore

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, it is important for

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government

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the government

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to protect elderly

people

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and

ensures

Correct subject-verb agreement

ensure

show examples

that their basic needs are

fulfiled

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fulfilled

However

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other

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others

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believe that

Correct article usage

apply

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ageing inhabitants

creates

Correct subject-verb agreement

create

show examples

challenges for

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government

Correct article usage

the government

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, particularly in health services. The increasing number of

people

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at age 70 to 80 are more likely

have

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to have

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health problems

such

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as diabetes, high blood pressure, and others.

Consequently

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, the

government

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should allocate their budget in order to take care of them. It means that the

government

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tend to face some disadvantages because of

this

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. The funding that they

spent

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spend

show examples

for assisting older citizens,

for instance

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, can be allocated to other areas

such

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aducation

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education

and sports

center

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centers

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for

young

Correct article usage

the young

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generation.

Hence

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, it can be said that the

diadvantages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

advantages

of having elderly

people

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outweigh the advantages. In conclusion,

while

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senior citizens may give benefits for writing local history, I argue that there are more problems of having

older

Correct article usage

an older

show examples

population

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as health services that require more funding from the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

It is clear that

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the disadvantages outweigh the

advatanges

Correct your spelling

advantages

in terms of having

senior

Correct article usage

a senior

show examples

population

Use synonyms

Submitted by salwafahanim on Thu Apr 25 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Work on expanding your examples and explanations to make your arguments more comprehensive.

Language Use

Try to include a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to reflect advanced language use.

Task Response

Balance the development of ideas between paragraphs. The discussion on advantages could be further expanded to match the depth given to disadvantages.

Structure

Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your argument.

Content

You provided specific examples (e.g., Indonesia, health issues) to support your points.

Coherence

Your essay maintains a logical flow, with appropriate paragraphing.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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In many countries, people are now living longer then ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

As technology advances, traveling to space is likely to become an option for holidaysmakers in the future. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Traffic jam is increasing, what are causes and solution?

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country Task :

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned, and electric cars should replace them.