It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?
There is argue that college learners should
left
their parent to live by themself Change the verb form
leave
with
Change preposition
at
far
distance. To me, living with Correct article usage
a far
parents
Use synonyms
uptill
university time is better than Correct your spelling
up till
separeting
from them. Correct your spelling
separating
This
essay Linking Words
show
several Change the verb form
shows
point
to disagree Change to a plural noun
points
to
Change preposition
with
this
statement.
Linking Words
Frist
and foremost, becoming mature by living far away from Correct your spelling
First
parents
Use synonyms
home
could be the listed. After Use synonyms
participant
Replace the word
participating
to
college, Change preposition
in
people
Use synonyms
tent
to Correct your spelling
tend
choose
live far away from Add the particle
choose to
home
, might be near schools Use synonyms
instead
. By living by Linking Words
themsefl
, they have to prepare and pay every Correct your spelling
themselves
Use synonyms
bills
. Change to a singular noun
bill
Therefore
some of them Linking Words
choose
go to work for money, Add the particle
choose to
Linking Words
as
a Correct word choice
and as
result
they become more mature than Add the comma(s)
result,
people
who still have Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their paprents
paprents
financial support. Correct your spelling
parents
For example
, in Vietnam, most Linking Words
of
part-time employees in Change preposition
apply
coffe
shops, Correct your spelling
coffee
convinience
stores or restaurants are students who Correct your spelling
convenience
coming
from Wrong verb form
come
provinces
and Correct article usage
the provinces
staying
at Wrong verb form
stay
dorm
or rent small Fix the agreement mistake
dorms
house
with friends. Fix the agreement mistake
houses
Hence
, being more mature and having Linking Words
Correct your spelling
responsibility
resposibility
for Correct your spelling
responsibility
Add a hyphen
self-choices
self choices
are Add a hyphen
self-choices
Correct article usage
the bright
bright
side of staying far from Correct article usage
the bright
parents
.
Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, Linking Words
finacial
burden could be the Correct your spelling
financial
most
reason for students Correct word choice
biggest
dropoing
from Correct your spelling
dropping
drooping
schools
for money Fix the agreement mistake
school
desiration
. Sharing Correct your spelling
destination
description
desperation
bills
with Use synonyms
parents
is the right choice at the moment of Use synonyms
staring
Correct your spelling
starting
in
study high education. Change preposition
to
Instead
of paying every bill Linking Words
in
every month and Change preposition
apply
undering
the Correct your spelling
being
finance
pressure, young Replace the word
financial
people
could able to Use synonyms
take
one or two Verb problem
pay
bills
for Use synonyms
family
, Correct article usage
the family
as a
Linking Words
result
they still are able to take part-time jobs for experience, save Add the comma(s)
result,
salary
after paying agreed Correct pronoun usage
their salary
bills
as the saving account for education. Use synonyms
In
the age of 18, they should not be under pressure of finance, but still need to have Change preposition
At
reponsibility
in support sharing Correct your spelling
responsibility
bills
with their mom and dad. Use synonyms
Therefore
, focusing on studying and financial sharing are the Linking Words
prioty
for college students.
Correct your spelling
priority
Moreover
, safety when staying far from Linking Words
home
is the primary issue, especially Use synonyms
Change preposition
for female
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
ones
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
In
that age, it cannot be denied that most Change preposition
At
of
young Change preposition
apply
people
have Use synonyms
self awareness
about danger from Add a hyphen
self-awareness
surroundings
, Correct pronoun usage
their surroundings
however
, leaving far from Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
parents
control is Change noun form
parents'
parent's
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
diference
. They can easily become Correct your spelling
difference
a potential victims
of frauding from love, job or even bad friends. Correct the article-noun agreement
potential victims
a potential victim
For example
, in Vietnam, the announced figures of being Linking Words
slove
to Campodia for Verb problem
moved
high
salary these years have Correct article usage
a high
growth
dramatically, Replace the word
grown
particullarly
Correct your spelling
particularly
most
of Correct word choice
since most
victims
are individuals living away from Add an article
the victims
home
. For that reason, young Use synonyms
people
should live with their Use synonyms
parents
for safety.
Use synonyms
Conclusion
, despite living far from Change preposition
In conclusion
home
could Use synonyms
offers
various Change the verb form
offer
drawback
, especially being mature and freedom Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
with making
choices, I Change preposition
to make
belive
that living Correct your spelling
believe
together with
mom and dad Linking Words
untill
Correct your spelling
until
people
get to Use synonyms
colllege
is still Correct your spelling
college
top
choice for reducing financial issues and Correct article usage
the top
self security
.Add a hyphen
self-security
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coherence cohesion
Try to use a range of cohesive devices (linking words) more effectively to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structure to present your ideas in a more organized manner. Each paragraph should have one main idea, explained and supported by examples.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should explore your point in depth, using specific examples or explanations.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammar and spelling errors, as these can hinder the clarity of your argument. Consistent review and practice can help improve accuracy.
task achievement
You have a clear thesis and argument structure, which is good for guiding the reader through your points.
task achievement
Your essay touches on several important aspects of the topic, showing an effort to cover different perspectives.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example