IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the percentage of journeys made by different forms of transport in four countries, and the bar graph show the results of a survey into car use

The table shows the percentage of journeys made by different forms of transport in four countries, and the bar graph show the results of a survey into car use
#percentage #journeys #forms #transport #four #countries #bar #show #results #survey #car
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graphs illustrate the means of
transport
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
four
countries
 and the reason why people use cars for commuting.
Overall
, it is noticeable that
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 is the most popular
modes
Fix the agreement mistake
mode
show examples
 of
transport
 in
four
countries
. Especially, in Canada,
car
 is incomparably high.
While
 other means account
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 lowest percentages in each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Canadians mostly use
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 since they go to
works
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 and there is no alternative. In detail,
Car
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for 90% in Canada, followed by Belgium, Germany, and the Netherlands with 72%,68% and 47%, respectively. Bicycle is the second primary mode of
transport
 in
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
,
whereas
, its percentage in other
countries
are taken up
Verb problem
is
show examples
 about 2%. Walking and public
transport
 are not preferred in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
countries
. Meanwhile, other means of
transport
 just comprise
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 2 %
over
Change preposition
of
show examples
four
countries
.
On the other hand
, as for reasons for Canadians’ preference for
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
means
Correct article usage
a means
show examples
 of
transport
, commuting and no alternative
are taken
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 up 30% and 38%, respectively. Night shift and quicker are comprise
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 10% of
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
 why people use cars.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Canadian
Replace the word
Canadians
show examples
 who drive cars for convenience record
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
 significant figure at 23% each.
Submitted by sh960620 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words transport, four, countries, car with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: