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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #difference #environment
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Environmental issues are undeniably among the most pressing
challenges
 of our time.
While
 there is widespread consensus on the urgency of these problems, opinions differ on the scale at which they should be tackled. Some advocate for an individual approach, feeling that each person should independently handle their environmental concerns.
However
, others, myself included, would argue that these issues, given their, magnitude and interconnectedness, mandate a global response. On the one hand, those supporting an individual approach offer several compelling arguments. Chief of these is that each person can help alleviate the problem of rubbish. They posit that if a citizen knows how to reduce, reuse and recycle, humans will not damage the environment with billions of tons of garbage annually.
Moreover
, single approaches can be more efficient, and tailored to specific lifestyles,
cultural
Correct word choice
and cultural
show examples
 and social contexts.
Lastly
,
such
 a measure can be implemented swiftly without the bureaucratic hurdles that international agreements often entail.
However
, it should be recognized that environmental
challenges
, especially those of monumental scale like climate change, do not respect the aforementioned boundaries. Rising sea levels,
for example
, threaten human well-being, especially those living in island nations.
Additionally
, pollution in one region can affect air and water quality in its neighbourhood.
Therefore
, the global nature of
such
 problems necessitates collective action.
Furthermore
,
such
 global initiatives not only set shared goals but
also
 foster a sense of global solidarity in facing common
challenges
. In conclusion,
while
 individual initiatives play a pivotal role in addressing specific environmental issues, the magnitude and interconnectedness of many environmental
challenges
 require a more unified, global approach. By coming together as a global community, we can harness our collective resources and expertise to protect the Earth.

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task achievement
Consider incorporating specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific countries or communities where individual actions have made a notable difference.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the essay is generally easy to follow, using transitional phrases more frequently can further enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, briefly restate the main points from your body paragraphs to reinforce your argument and ensure a well-rounded conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear outline of the topic and sets up the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic throughout and provides a balanced discussion of both views.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • eco-friendly
  • collective impact
  • grassroots movements
  • systemic changes
  • sustainable products
  • environmental degradation
  • coordinated actions
  • policy changes
  • environmental-friendly policies
  • advocacy efforts
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