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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the diagram below show the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.

the diagram below show the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
#show #floor #plan #library #years
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The map compares the floor plan of a public
library
Use synonyms
 over
twenty years
Replace the word
a twenty-year
show examples
 period.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
library
Use synonyms
 plan had several fundamental
change
Change to a plural noun
changes
show examples
contains
Verb problem
apply
show examples
of eliminate
Change preposition
including eliminating
show examples
 some parts and
adjoin
Wrong verb form
adjoining
show examples
 new ones. Focusing on the first design illustrates that large tables
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
library
Use synonyms
removed
Add a missing verb
were removed
show examples
 completely.
Also
Linking Words
, the Enquiry desk which was a
place
Use synonyms
 for tickets and
books
Use synonyms
 returns converted to
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
a cafe
show examples
 after 20 years and the Reading
room
Use synonyms
 where placed
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side of the Entrance became the Computer
room
Use synonyms
 for members.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the Adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 transferred from
left
Correct article usage
the left
show examples
 hand to the right hand of the
library
Use synonyms
 and the Information desk with self-service machines added to
this
Linking Words
 part. In front of the
room
Use synonyms
, the specific
place
Use synonyms
 for CDs and
Videos
Change the noun form
Video
show examples
 computer games
enlarged
Add a missing verb
was enlarged
show examples
 and provided with two
sofa
Fix the agreement mistake
sofas
show examples
 and
story telling
Correct your spelling
storytelling
show examples
 events. The
Use synonyms
children*s
Correct your spelling
children's
books
Use synonyms
 department where located in
Correct article usage
the font
show examples
font
Correct your spelling
front
show examples
 of the
CDs
Change noun form
CD's
CDs'
show examples
place
Use synonyms
changed
Correct word choice
and changed
show examples
 to the Lecture
room
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,the
non-Adult
Correct your spelling
non-adult
show examples
 fiction sector which was between the
Use synonyms
Children*s
Correct your spelling
children's
 unit and the Enquiry desk deleted totally. It is noticeable,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
Use synonyms
Children*s
Correct your spelling
children's
books
Use synonyms
 part converted to
Use synonyms
Children*s
Correct your spelling
children's
fictions
Fix the agreement mistake
fiction
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 and joined
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Story telling events
place
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bakhti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, place, books, room, children*s with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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