Some people think that secondary schools should spend less time teaching traditional subjects like history and spend more time on teaching subjects like communication skills and business. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Some
people
suggest that in
high schools should take more Change preposition
apply
time
on the
practical Correct article usage
apply
lessons
like interpersonal relationship
and business. Meantime, schools should reduce Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
cultuarl
Correct your spelling
cultural
subjects
like history. In my views
, I disagree Fix the agreement mistake
view
this
point. The traditional Change preposition
with this
subjects
and practical lessons
both important to improving Add a verb
lessons are
lessons were
students
skills and literacy, it's fair to balance the Change noun form
students'
student's
time
to
traditional and practical Change preposition
between
lessons
.
Firstly
, traditional lessons
show the trail of human development in different areas, and most was
high quality with specific Change the verb form
were
area
. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
For example
, the traditional festival , it's strongly reunion the people in
beliefs and cultural Change preposition
people's
belongs
. In China, the Spring Festival is a good chance to gather Replace the word
belonging
people
and increase harmoy
Correct your spelling
harmonious
relationship
between Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
person
even Fix the agreement mistake
people
they
had Correct word choice
if they
bad
Add an article
a bad
relationship
before.
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
Addition
, conventional Change preposition
In addition
subjects
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
good
Change the article
a good
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
about
Change preposition
of
the
past events. Correct article usage
apply
Such
as the history, it's real models to educate human beings. The
World War Correct article usage
apply
one
and World War Correct pronoun usage
I
two
were Capitalize word
Two
crule
events and Correct your spelling
cruel
reminding
Wrong verb form
reminded
people
how important to live in peace
world. Replace the word
a peaceful
And
any Correct word choice
If
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
break
down the peace would strike down.
Correct subject-verb agreement
breaks
On the other hand
, the utilization lessons
also
need
spend Add the particle
need to
time
on it. It's crucial education
in school and for Change preposition
for education
further
career development. The communication
skills are Correct article usage
Communication
basical
learning in daily life. When students master Correct your spelling
basically
basic
the
communication skills, they can easily interact with others, which Correct article usage
apply
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
emotion
well-being.
Meantime, Replace the word
emotional
the
practical Correct article usage
apply
lessons
like business would offer more chance
to get a good job, which support their life. Fix the agreement mistake
chances
And with
Correct word choice
With
this
skill person could contribute to
more value and service to society.
Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, both traditional lessons
and practical subjects
are significant to student's future development. History educate
how to enjoy the Change the verb form
educates
tradtional
Correct your spelling
traditional
cultural
and how to avoid Replace the word
culture
the
tragedy (war) Correct article usage
apply
while
skill subjects
teach people
how to use it explore
the path of Fix the infinitive
to explore
career
. Correct article usage
a career
Thus
, they're
both need equal Unnecessary verb
they
time
to teach.Submitted by asllchkied on
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Structure
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Content
Balance the development of your arguments. Ensure both sides of the argument (traditional subjects and practical lessons) are equally explored and supported.
Language
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
Grammar
Work on grammar and punctuation to avoid simple errors. Consider reviewing subject-verb agreement, the use of articles, and sentence structure.
Introduction & Conclusion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, providing a clear thesis statement and summarizing your main points well.
Support
Good use of examples to support your points, particularly when discussing the significance of traditional subjects like history.
Positioning
You have a clear viewpoint throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent argument against the proposition.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.