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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. Others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are bast at or find most interesting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #teenagers #subjects #ones #focus #bast
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People are often encouraged to read widely, but there is
ongoing
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 debate about whether they should focus on all
subjects
, including those they do not enjoy, or concentrate solely on the
subjects
 they are particularly interested in. I believe that young people should focus on all academic
subjects
 in order to explore different
career
 pathways in the future. One significant reason for studying a broad range of
subjects
 is to excel in
overall
 academic performance. It is often observed that
students
 who avoid difficult
subjects
 like mathematics and science tend to receive lower
overall
 grades, even if they excel in other areas.
Furthermore
, these challenging
subjects
 are crucial for opening up a wide range of
career
 opportunities.
For example
, in India, many
students
 choose non-medical streams in high school to secure high-paying jobs in fields
such
 as engineering or technology.
Therefore
, giving equal importance to all
subjects
 fosters comprehensive personal growth and provides a strong foundation for a successful and versatile
career
.
On the other hand
, focusing only on
subjects
 that
students
 enjoy does offer some benefits. It allows them to develop their strengths and deepen their knowledge in areas of interest, which can be motivating and lead to better academic performance in those
subjects
.
However
,
this
 approach may limit their
career
 options, as less challenging
subjects
 might not offer the same high-paying or exciting job opportunities that come from a well-rounded education. In conclusion,
while
 studying
favorite
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subjects
 can increase engagement and academic success in those areas, focusing on all
subjects
 is essential for long-term success. A balanced approach that encourages
students
 to develop a broad range of skills and knowledge will better prepare them for the diverse
career
 opportunities they may encounter in the future.
Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on

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task achievement
Your essay is solid and well-organized. To make it even better, consider adding more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more linking phrases, such as 'in addition' or 'moreover.'
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both very strong and clearly present your main points.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples that enhance your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • versatile
  • adaptive
  • critical thinking
  • knowledge base
  • exposure
  • informed decisions
  • specializing
  • expertise
  • motivation
  • engagement
  • performance
  • specialization
  • depth of knowledge
  • academic pursuits
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