Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In contemporary times, there exists a paramount emphasis on the education of
children
, eliciting a plethora of debates on the subject. Several individuals consider that offspring should begin school as young as possible
whereas
others oppose that they should go to classes when they are older. Personally, in
this
essay, I would like to discuss both sides in more detail before giving my idea. On one hand,
it is clear that
many kinds of research have provided evidence of the benefits of early education for
children
. The younger they are, the easier they learn new things. Because the brains of
children
like white papers, they can observe knowledge from the world around them easily.
Thus
, in
this
period, they should access schooling to form useful habits and good character.
Such
as,
firstly
, the
children
who go to the academy very early have opportunities to connect with their peers and teachers.
This
leads to the development of communication skills.
Secondly
, it
also
helps them to be aware of the importance of studying.
Finally
, the offspring can become more independent when they are enrolled academy early.
On the other hand
, a number of crowds argue that
children
should start studying at school if they are older because it helps them to spend more time with their families to foster love in their hearts. Eventually, not only does it encourage
children
to become people rich in love and affection, but it
also
helps them to become confident.
For instance
, if a child lives with her or his parents at a period of early age and receives the positive attitudes of her or his parents, that child will feel safer, become more confident, and know how to build relationships with people around him or her based on love. In conclusion,
although
both statements have some validity. It seems to me that it is better to let
children
go to school until they are older
Submitted by writingeilts on

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Example
While you've convincingly argued both perspectives and your own opinion, try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Your conclusion seems slightly abrupt. Consider restating the main points more thoroughly to provide a more rounded finish.
Linking Words
For higher marks, closely link paragraphs with smoother transitions to reinforce the flow of your arguments.
Structure
You've structured your essay well, dividing it into clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and your opinion, which is great for readability.
Balanced Discussion
Your discussion of both views before stating your own opinion demonstrates effective essay organization and aids in task achievement.
Vocabulary
You used a variety of vocabulary to express your ideas, enhancing the readability and engagement of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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