IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are done alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many
individuals
Use synonyms
 are of the opinion that working in a group can help acquire valuable
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 that solitary
activities
Use synonyms
 may not necessarily emphasize as much.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement as
team
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 foster connection and
leadership
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 in order to gain more success.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it must be acknowledged that being active in a
team
Use synonyms
 can provide people with opportunities to develop conversation
skills
Use synonyms
 with each other. Working in a
team
Use synonyms
 often meets the demand for effective
communication
Use synonyms
 to share ideas, delegate tasks and resolve conflicts. These
skills
Use synonyms
 are crucial for every aspect of
life
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 can build fierce relationships or even achieve high productivity of teamwork.
For instance
Linking Words
, a national football
team
Use synonyms
 need diverse
communication
Use synonyms
 and express thought directly, as participants need to express ideas and listen to others, thereby raising the ability to reach a goal.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
communication
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 play an indispensable part in the
team
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 its benefit.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, working in a group could offer
individuals
Use synonyms
 a chance to obtain
leadership
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
, which are considered the most powerful
skills
Use synonyms
 in terms of
team
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 provides opportunities to develop
leadership
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 by taking on various roles within the
team
Use synonyms
. Leading a
team
Use synonyms
 requires decision-making, problem-solving, and the ability to motivate and inspire others, all of which are valuable
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in a football final match, it is vital for the coach to inspire the motivation
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 players, with much thought and determination to defeat the rival or to stimulate the mood and revive the energy of players in case of getting into trouble. In conclusion,
team
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 provide
individuals
Use synonyms
 with a wealth of
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 that extend beyond what can be acquired through individual
activities
Use synonyms
. By promoting effective
communication
Use synonyms
, and fostering
leadership
Use synonyms
 abilities, these
activities
Use synonyms
 equip
individuals
Use synonyms
 with essential qualities for personal and professional success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay does a good job of discussing both communication and leadership skills, but providing more varied examples could enhance it further. Including examples from different fields like business or academics could make the argument even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are logically structured and well-connected. However, ensure that transitions between ideas are even smoother for optimum clarity. Using more transitional phrases can help maintain flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize the main points. This makes the essay easy to read and understand.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples to support the main arguments, particularly the example about the national football team to highlight communication skills.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • leadership
  • interpersonal skills
  • teamwork
  • belonging
  • learning from others
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • self-discipline
  • self-motivation
  • personal reflection
  • introspection
  • independence
  • self-reliance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: