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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below describe the structure of a home smokery and how it works.

The diagram below describe the structure of a home smokery and how it works.
#structure #home #smokery #works
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The given diagram shows the process cycle of a home smokery in various stages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it consists of four steps, starting from taking fresh air into the
box
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
burn
Wrong verb form
burning
show examples
 the fire which heat starts to prepare the food.
Linking Words
Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
show examples
 in the first step, there are three boxes
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used for the preparation of food. The first
box
Use synonyms
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
lid
Correct article usage
the lid
show examples
 were open to
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 the fresh air into it. After that, the air entered
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the first compartment and
then
Linking Words
going
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 into the other
box
Use synonyms
 where logs were placed in a way to produce heat when
fire
Add an article
a fire
the fire
show examples
starts
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to work. In the following steps, the temperature of the heat will pass through the narrow pipe and
reaching
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 into the third
box
Use synonyms
 which is located on the ground floor. From where
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the steam of the fire gets into the work and
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 cooking food which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 hanging on top of the
box
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ahmadarch007 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words box with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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