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Band 4.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advasntages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society #advasntages
A lot of individuals in society choose
internet
Correct article usage
an internet
show examples
 connection to communicate with their families rather than physical visits. So,
this
 attendance has many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
positive sides and lots of
downside
Change to a plural noun
downsides
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. On one side ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communicate
Replace the word
communication
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 between
people
 through Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 means has great advantages.
Firstly
, these new modern means facilitate calling among
people
.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
at
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this
 time you talk
anyone
Change preposition
to anyone
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in
Change preposition
apply
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anywhere even those in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote areas.
Additionally
, other applications
s
Change preposition
apply
show examples
like Zoom and Google
meeting
Capitalize word
Meeting
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 made
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work meetings
more
Change the word
apply
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easier.
For instance
, a huge
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of employees and employers make his
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
 easily through those applications. For
this
, the recent application
more
Correct your spelling
made
show examples
 our
life
 more and more smooth.
On the other hand
, the network has a lot of negative impacts on our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Furthermore
, these means make
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 pretty cure towards each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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.
For instance
, a few numbers of
people
 today
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
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 our family or friends
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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. What is more, the actual communication between the members of
family
Add an article
the family
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 became
rarely
Change the word
rare
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.
For example
,
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
one in every family is busy
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media and
became
Verb problem
apply
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rarely
talking
Wrong verb form
talks
show examples
 in
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
real
life
while
 they are talkative
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Social
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
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. So , a number of
people
 do not prefer these applications.
To sum up
,
while
 a lot of
people
thanks
Correct subject-verb agreement
thank
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 social media
to made
Change preposition
for making
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 their
life
 are more easier, others argue that the new technologies made their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 worse. I completely agree with the
initially
Change the adverb
initial
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 view and I totally believe that the advantages of social media
are overweighs
Change the verb form
are overweighed
are overweighing
show examples
 the disadvantages of
used
Change the form of the verb
using
show examples
 it.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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Structure & Coherence
Try to structure your essay more clearly by introducing your main points in the introduction, developing them in separate paragraphs, and summarizing them in the conclusion for better logical flow.
Linking Words
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly and make your essay easier to follow. This will also enhance the cohesion of your text.
Grammar & Spelling
Work on grammar and spelling to improve the overall professionalism and readability of your essay. Consider revising sentences that are confusing or unclear.
Balanced Argument
Make sure you explore both advantages and disadvantages in balanced detail. While you've mentioned both sides, deepening your analysis can enrich your argument.
Task Response
You have successfully addressed the topic and provided both advantages and disadvantages of social media use, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Relevant Examples
You included relevant examples to support your points, which helps illustrate your arguments effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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