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Band 5

Nowadays many ecosystems in the world are experiencing problems because large predators are going extinct. Why is this a bad thing? What solution can governments implement to solve this problem?

#ecosystems #world #predators #governments
In natural
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 cycle of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
predators
 and
preys
Fix the agreement mistake
prey
show examples
 which leads to the population of
animals
has
Verb problem
being
show examples
 the equilibrium.
Predators
 play
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vital role in
Correct article usage
the enviroment
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
, especially
reducing
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
 the increasing number of individuals. In
this
 argument, the issue surrounding the disappearance of hunters will
discuss
Wrong verb form
be discussed
show examples
 more meticulously and debate some fix that politics can restrict
this
 problem.
Predators
 are one of the most crucial protectors of their natural habitats because of several reasons.
firstly
 , they can hunt infected
animals
 that may carry different viruses and bacteria. Thanks to that the spread of diseases among other inhabitants of
forest
Correct article usage
the forest
show examples
 can be prevented.
Apart from
this
,
predators
 usually maintain a balanced number of other species that can be hunted as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
prey if
Rephrase
no
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 increase in the number of
animals
 may result to ravage
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 ecosystem. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the diverse breed species, hunting
animals
 has a large
species
Correct quantifier usage
number of species
show examples
 which is
impact
Add an article
the impact
an impact
show examples
 on
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 chain. Governments should take control of
this
 situation and make wise judgements about it. They can solve
this
 problem by constructing conservation zones around habitats of endangered
predators
.
However
, only building preservation areas cannot be the best way to deal with
this
 situation.
Also
, setting up penalties for poachers can be an effective way of solving
this
 problem. If penalties are not enough to stop poachers from killing
animals
, government officials ought to make
more
Correct pronoun usage
it more
show examples
 strictly.
To sum up
,
predators
 are reducing
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
,
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
 phenomenon is so noticed. The authorities must be rigorous and show a lot of measurement to deal with it.

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Grammar and Accuracy
Consider revising sentence structures and verb tenses for clarity and variety.
Lexical Resource
Focus on improving the range of vocabulary to better express complex ideas.
Structure
Ensure that your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, stating the thesis and summarizing the main points.
Organization
Use paragraphs effectively to organize ideas around a central topic, improving the essay's logical flow.
Argumentation
Support your arguments with more specific examples or evidence for greater effectiveness.
Topic Understanding
You effectively address the essay topic, showing a good understanding of the task.
Solution Orientation
You have made a commendable effort in discussing solutions to the identified problem.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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