Some people say that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environment pollution . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #environment #pollution

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In today's digital era, there are some new technological devices in order to serve the individual’s daily life.

Otherwise

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, these benefits cause some problems, which cause a rise in illness and disease ratio, which is prevented by governments in many countries by concentrating on reducing

pollution

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and the greenhouse effect. In

this

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essay, I totally agree with

this

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statement.

Firstly

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, there are some new technologies in the transportation fields that are

exhaustedby

Correct your spelling

exhausted by

exhausted

alarge

Correct your spelling

a large

large

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of emissions that pollute the environment.

This

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makes

people

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have no atmosphere to breathe and harms their health. To improve

this

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and deal with

this

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problem, many governments in the world should focus on reducing emissions because when we decrease

this

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this

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will improve the atmosphere quality for

people

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and contribute to reducing the greenhouse effect and global warming on public health.

For example

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, many countries

such

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as Vietnam, Singapore and Laos, are using the environmental protection policy on many companies that exhaust some emissions in order to reduce air

pollution

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As a result

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people

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live healthier and more comfortably, and the illness ratio

decreased

Wrong verb form

decreases

show examples

rapidly,

this

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has a positive effect on an individual’s daily life.

Secondly

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, reducing environmental

pollution

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can increase the

country

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’s efficiency.

This

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is because, when the citizen’s health is improved,

people

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have enough strength to do many things which are helpful and contribute to making their

country

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better. Because of

this

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this

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country

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will have a high development and get accuracy or goal more easily.

As a result

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, in many developing countries

such

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as the USA, China and Russia, their companies will focus on a healthy environment’s work.

This

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is because

Remove the comma

apply

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the staff’s accuracy depends on the environment so they work effectively

due to

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their healthy environment.

Therefore

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, a good area will develop the

country

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. In conclusion, governments should reduce the

pollution

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and disease ratio in order to improve their

country

Use synonyms

Submitted by [email protected] on Fri Apr 26 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure your essay directly addresses the topic. The introduction should clearly state your position. Reference the specific topic in the prompt for clarity.

Task Achievement

Use relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. While discussing countries focusing on environmental policies is good, more specific examples related to the impact of these policies on reducing diseases could enhance your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on the clarity and coherence of your essay. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next, using linking words effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Avoid generalizations and ensure precision in your language. For example, when talking about technology's impact on health, be specific about which technologies and how they directly contribute to illness.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids readability.

Task Achievement

You effectively express agreement with the given statement and maintain your position throughout the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

chronic conditions
regulatory measures
environmental policies
pollution reduction
global warming
preventive approaches
reactive approaches
public health
community involvement
innovative solutions
cost-benefit analysis
environmental pollution

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Some people say that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environment pollution . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays Many People Choose To Be Self-Employed, Rather Than To Work For A Company Or Organization. Why Might Be The Case? What Could Be The Disadvantages Of Being Self-Employed?

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How many people are involved in sports when they are young but stubborn they are adults. Why do many adults stop doing physical exercises? What can we learn about this problem?