In the future nobody will buy printer newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying
İt
is considered thatCorrect your spelling
It
,
no one will prefer actual Remove the comma
apply
books
because people will be able to read everything from digital books
.I strongly disagree with this
statement,that online books
are more useful than printed books
.
Firstly
,reading online books
causes a lot of distractions.As technology
Correct word choice
Technology
device
can bombard someone with many messages,Fix the agreement mistake
devices
calls
.Correct word choice
and calls
That is
why e-
books
are not productive.It is quite hard to finish one chapter a day.For example
,when l read e-
books
,notifications distract my focus.l lost track of time on websites.Consequently
,it is very
time-consuming process.
Add an article
a very
Secondly
,humans give priority to e-
books
because it is free and available anywhere.Using e-
books
for a long time lays foundation
for eye weakness and psychological diseases.Humans give priority to Add an article
the foundation
a foundation
e-
books
because it is free and available anywhere.
But instead
of books
they spend money on doctors and glasses.Specially,it is harmful for
children's development.Change the preposition
to
For instance
,some researchers show that,
students who are prone to Remove the comma
apply
e-
books
have a distraction.Most of them use glasses.They quickly forget what they read.However
pupils
who are Add the comma(s)
, pupils
tendency
to actual Add an article
the tendency
a tendency
books
,they
study well and express their thoughts fluently.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Thirdly
,old people still want tactile sensation when reading books
.The feeling of touching papers and turning them,the
distinct smells can bring Correct word choice
and the
comfortable
to individuals.Replace the word
comfort
That is
impossible to acquire it when reading on digital gadgets whether it is free or not.
To sum up
,e-
books
never replace printed books
.The most vital benefits of actual books
are avoid
distraction and Wrong verb form
avoiding
healthy
problemsReplace the word
health
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Style
To enhance your score further, consider varying your sentence structures more. This will not only showcase a wider range of grammar but also make your essay more engaging to read.
Content
Be mindful of repetition in your arguments. For instance, the point about e-books being free and accessible was mentioned twice. Ensure each paragraph brings a new point to keep the argument fresh and compelling.
Coherence
To improve clarity, transition phrases can be used more effectively between paragraphs and ideas. This will help in making your essay flow more naturally and logically.
Grammar
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and try to avoid them in future writings. For instance, watch out for the use of 'l' (lowercase L) instead of 'I' (uppercase I) when referring to yourself.
Argument
You have presented a clear argument against the notion that digital books will completely replace printed books, well-done!
Examples
Using specific examples, like the distraction caused by notifications and the impact on children and old people, effectively supports your main points.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear overview and closing of your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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