We live in cities or towns that have museums displaying historical and cultural importance, but people do not visit them. Why some people don't visit museums in their local areas? What is a solution?

#cities #towns #museums #importance #people #visit #areas

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There are

museums

Use synonyms

in urban areas that exhibit essential elements of a nation’s history and culture.

However

Linking Words

, because of

work

Use synonyms

stress, the public doesn’t visit them. Viable solutions are to improve

work

Use synonyms

-life balance and get support from a financial budget.

Work

Use synonyms

pressure causes individuals to have no leisure

time

Use synonyms

to visit local

museums

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because finding a decent

job

Use synonyms

and securing a good position has become increasingly difficult than before and

this

Linking Words

forces many employees to

work

Use synonyms

long hours to secure their jobs.

Thus

Linking Words

, they rarely can squeeze in

time

Use synonyms

for city tours and visit

museums

Use synonyms

, preferring to collapse in front of the TV or dive into social media rather than going outside. Take Japan as an example, the majority of Japanese employees find dinner places around 9 PM after they leave offices

while

Linking Words

they have to be in the office at 8 AM the following day, leading to an

exhausted

Replace the word

exhausting

show examples

weekend for them to recover. A

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

solution for

this

Linking Words

predicament is creating more

job

Use synonyms

opportunities to form a better

work

Use synonyms

job

Use synonyms

balance. As employment rates increase, people’s pressure in workplaces can be relieved,

thus

Linking Words

they will have free

time

Use synonyms

to consider their leisure

time

Use synonyms

activities, including visiting

museums

Use synonyms

. A good example is in China after Taobao created millions of

job

Use synonyms

places in Hangzhou, even citizens around Hangzhou commented that it was a great relief for the

job

Use synonyms

market and

work

Use synonyms

stress, which allowed them to engage in cultural and recreational activities in their free

time

Use synonyms

because there are plenty positions for employees to choose and people no longer need to

work

Use synonyms

overtime, in order to secure their jobs. In conclusion,

work

Use synonyms

pressure is the reason why a limited number of the public visits

museums

Use synonyms

though they are located convenient and more

job

Use synonyms

chances should be generated to change

this

Linking Words

situation.

Submitted by cc on Fri Apr 26 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs with linking words or phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and accuracy.

Task Response

You effectively addressed the task by discussing the reasons why people may not visit museums and presented a coherent solution focusing on work-life balance.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay maintains a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in clearly presenting your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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We live in cities or towns that have museums displaying historical and cultural importance, but people do not visit them. Why some people don't visit museums in their local areas? What is a solution?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

: Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many people think that increasing business and cultural contacts between countries is a positive development. However, others believe that these are leading to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In future all cars will be driverless cars, in your opinion are advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people believe that climate change has the greatest effect on people’s way of life. Others believe the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

the money spent by goverenment on space programmes would e better spent on vitl public services such asschool and hospitals.To what extend do you agree or disagree.