IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The best way to solve traffic and transportation problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs and the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely advocated by many that encouraging citizens to reside in urban regions
instead
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 of outskirts and rural ones is the most reliable solution towards the issues of transport and
traffic
Use synonyms
. The writer of
this
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 essay,
however
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, remains unconvinced by
this
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 school of thought
due to
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 the overpopulation in cities
along with
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 the improvement in
infrastructure
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 systems in local zones.
Initially
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, it must be recognized that when people are promoted to live in metropolises,
this
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 means there will be a population explosion in the central regions.
As a result
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, there will be an increase in the usage of private vehicles
such
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 as cars and motorcycles, which is the root cause of the problem of
traffic
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 congestion. Specifically,
this
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 is true in Vietnam, where the motorbike is the most common means of transportation, and has been revealed that
traffic
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 jams have been one of the most annoying social issues among dwellers over the past decades.
Additionally
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, it is crucial to acknowledge that by more people to live in the countryside, the
infrastructure
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 there will be enhanced significantly.
That is
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 because major corporations and companies will relocate their positions to rural areas when the population here is substantially higher than that of cities to attract as many customers as possible.
Consequently
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,
this
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 forces the local authorities to invest in the local
infrastructure
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 system for the delivering and transporting purposes of these organizations. Thailand,
for instance
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, has observed a significant improvement in the
infrastructure
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 in both local and urban regions and a strong connection between these since countless companies opt for situating in the countryside contemporarily. In conclusion,
although
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 some emphasize the approach of promoting local citizens to live in central areas to mitigate transport and
traffic
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 issues in
this
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 day and age, the population explosion in cities
coupled with
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 the enhancement in local
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 is far more vital to be taken into consideration. It is,
in addition
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, apparent that the better connected these two zones are, the more effectively these problems can be alleviated.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task prompt. However, providing a more balanced viewpoint by acknowledging some counterarguments could further strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in your ideas by avoiding repetitive information. Revisiting your main arguments in the conclusion more succinctly can enhance coherence.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples that effectively support your main points, such as the situation in Vietnam and Thailand.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with well-defined introduction and conclusion sections.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • public transport infrastructure
  • commutes
  • residential density
  • ecological footprint
  • overcrowding
  • urban planning
  • car-sharing
  • traffic management
  • rural preservation
  • transportation policies
  • electric vehicles
  • sustainable living
  • incentivize
  • telecommuting
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